...was hard. It is still Christmas for another two hours.. and I keep walking around my grandparent's house and just looking at things. Looking at pictures of my grandpa, from when he was younger, all the way up until recently.

It's hard to even type it out... it causes me to well up just looking at anything that reminds me of him. I feel like a complete mess. I miss you so much grandpa. I miss you so much.

If you are watching, then you know that I'm already trying to do right by you and take care of grandma. I talked to her today, we decided that I should move in and help out. My aunt is to stressed out with everything going on, my cousin who is living here is also stressed.

If there is one thing that I have been able to do throughout my life, it is to be the drop that starts the ripple effect. I have never had an issue with being the first to show everyone else how.... now I will show them how to work together to help someone they love. Because I cannot watch this fighting continue. I refuse.

I have to learn something new every day, mainly because you told me to grandpa, but also because what you told me is right on more levels than I can explain. I have to continue expanding my mind and moving forward.

I'm so upset that you aren't here, not with you, but with myself... for not spending more time with you at the end.

Today...
Today I learned that life is a constant battle... One after another. The sooner you understand it and start fighting, the sooner you can start winning some battles instead of losing them all.

I will start fighting again.


-link

Labels: thoughts