...what in the hell this is all about?:


Or maybe why these damn things seem to breed like rabbits...?:

Anyhow, if you find out... please let me know ASAP... this one is really driving the madness out of my head.. and I'm not a big fan of being back in reality any longer then I have to be...

-link

Labels: adventures in bothell, animals, ass clowns, bitch killa, business is business

Every once in a great while, the marketing guru's here in the great and almighty US of A come up with something that really is... well... pure genius.

I found a site that isn't blocked by my work proxy server, and so chances are it probably isn't blocked by your work proxy server either.... (in case you didn't realize, that's also the entire point behind having our '.org' domain name as .org domains are so rarely placed on the deny list for routers and proxy servers in Corporate America. Are we a not for profit and/or non-profit... fuck yes we kind of are... because we sure don't make any fucking money doing this shit..)

Click the source link below to experience aforementioned "pure genius" at its finest...

Then when you are done with those ads, check out this site: Real Ultimate Power


-link

Labels: adventures in bothell, bitch killa, cool shit, fresh to death

That's right, I bought the Jawbone... and here's a real shocker (no not that kind), I love it!!

So far this headset has done everything the advertisements and "here say" said it would do. Yesterday, right after purchasing the headset, I was required to charge the unit for a mere two hours before use. No extended charging time of 18 hours, or even 5 hours before the first use... a good sign.

The unit comes with 5 different ear bud contouring shapes and 4 over the ear pieces. It is a tandem operation of over the ear hook and ear bud that keeps the device snugly attached to the side of your head.

Use of the device is super easy. The side of the device actually has two buttons. One is for the power/answer/voice dial functions, the other being for turning on/off the noise cancellation feature and manually adjusting the volume.

Oh snap, did I forget to mention that the volume is pretty much 100% self adjusting, with the exception of giving you the option to adjust it yourself if you don't like the setting that the Jawbone picked for you based on the ambient volume in the room/situation you are in.

So, now for the meat and potatoes of the review... yesterday evening, as I was driving to one friend's house and talking to another friend. The friend on the phone couldn't tell that I had my window rolled down... on the freeway!!! This has been a big problem in the past, and I'm super happy to say that it looks as though it's finally been resolved!!

I'll post more as I learn more, but I just wanted to get every one's mouth watering first...

...mission accomplished...

UPDATE 06/08/2007:

So I've been using the headset for a few days now, and I've noticed some really cool stuff, and some other things that I don't really like so much. I'll split them into two lists, the cool things and the not so cool things:

Cool things:

1. When my phone is out of bluetooth range, the headset gives me three quick beeps and then stops. My Motorola H800 continued beeping until it got back into range, something I found to be very annoying.
2. When I am on a call on my phone, and power the headset on, the call is instantly transferred to the headset. I mean INSTANTLY. My Motorola H800 would occasionally just not take the call over, and when it did... took forever to make it happen.
3. The noise reduction is by far the best I have seen. Yesterday I was in my car with the radio on, both windows open, my navigation unit spitting directions at me and coming down the freeway to boot... I was on the phone with my mom and she found it odd that I asked her if she could hear me. She found it odd because I was coming through CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR.. bitches...
4. The earpiece volume adjusts itself automatically, so I'm not constantly pressing up or down on the volume depending on the situation like I had to do with my H800.
5. The voice commands (a feature of the phone more than the headset) are picked up very well. I guess this basically means that the headset has an awesome microphone in it. Either way, I've never used my voice commands for anything before, simply because the phone never seems to recognize the command given after I have set it up. This could be due to a noisy environment, shitty software, whatever... the point is, I like it now.

Not so cool things:

1. There is a small rubber cover for the charging port that stays on as long as you don't bump it by accident. It's easy to bump it when adjusting the headset or pressing the button to turn off the noise cancellation or rotate through the volume settings. The rubber piece is so light, that unless you stop and look for it on the ground, you would have no idea that it even fell off. Bad design here.
2. The ear hooks come in two sizes, normal and large. Normal is too big for my ear so it leaves much of the "hold on for dear life" work to the rubber piece that goes into my ear canal. Not suitable for running or leaning forward to pick something up off of the ground. More bad design, or really just a lack of appropriate options. This could be solved by adding one more ear hook to the package that is smaller than the "normal" size.
3. While the self adjusting volume kicks ass, it doesn't always make the right choice on volume. This could be attributed to the headset not fitting snugly on my ear, and therefore being further away from my ear and thus requiring a louder volume to actually hear things. You have the option of "rotating" through 6 different volume settings by pressing and holding one of two buttons on the device. That's right, rotating... this means that you go from 1 to 6 and then back to 1 again. No reverse... no jumping to... just one direction rotation. It's this "pressing and holding" that inevitably causes me to dislodge the rubber cover on the rear of the device. Frustrating.
4. The ear hook for the device seems a bit fragile. I could be wrong here, but the connection for the ear hook seems like it might wear out as it's just a tension fit holding it in. Also, I am constantly worried about actually breaking the ear hook if I were to place the device in my pocket or were someone to step/sit on it as a result of me setting it somewhere while inside a house. This could be all me and my paranoid tendencies... either way I think the device would benefit from a more rubberized ear hook or a simple way to make the device more compact. I'm not sure how a folding ear hook would work, so probably making it out of a more malleable plastic/rubber as opposed to the current construction of metal and rubber would be sufficient.
5. There doesn't seem to be a mute button. Now I could be wrong, but I didn't see one in the documentation, nor have I found one accidentally during my use of the headset. The device only has two buttons, one on the rear of the device to control the noise reduction and the volume rotation. The other button is used to power on the device, answer calls, initiate the voice command prompt, end the call and power off the device. That's quite a few functions for one button if you think about it. If I had the choice, I don't think I would add another button to the configuration, but maybe employ a dual button press for the volume rotation thereby allowing room for a single press on the rear button for mute functionality during calls.

Anyhow, that's the remainder of my review. I hope this helps you make a decision. I opted to keep this headset so far, albeit the ear snugness issue for two reasons:

1. This headset received the best review on CNet, both from the writer of the review and from the users. It beat out the Plantronics Discovery 665 - 7.7 staff rating, 5.6 user review rating, and the Motorola H9 Miniblue - 7.7 staff rating, no user review ratings. The Aliph Jawbone (gray) received an 8.7 staff rating paired with a 7.6 user review rating. Pretty damn high to ignore.
2. The second reason is that this ear snugness issue is not permanent. Apparently some smart genius mother fucker found out that the Jabra ear gels will fit over the round rubber ear piece that comes with the Aliph Jawbone. I plan on getting a pack of those today, and I think this will allow me to possibly remove the ear hook if I wanted a super sleek look... we'll see. I mentioned that to a friend and the first thing he thought about was the device falling on the ground, and while the ear hook isn't snug, it does prevent that nasty result.

Now the review is really over... if this helps you, then awesome. If not.. then you should have stopped reading long before you got to this, the insult segment of the review. Only a moron would continue reading something useless to them, and then stay around to get ragged on... way to go prick face...

-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, reviews, thoughts

You can check out the most updated version of this image by clicking on the source link below, or the miniature map image on the right.


Here are all of the people and their locations, who love this website:

...well actually that's probably not the most truthful statement... some of those people may also love you as well... I just really don't have a way or a care to verify it.

If you click the image above, it should open into a new window and show you a slightly larger version of the same map. The purpose behind that is to rub in even further, the fact that these people probably don't love you as much as they love this website.

Oh yeah also, I'm fucking fresh to death... and so is Jessica, one of my co-workers who is celebrating a birthday today!! I have no idea how old she is today, nor do I care... but I will tell you this much... she has a man, so back of fellas...

-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, enemesis, fresh to death

Ok, if you are a bacon lover such as myself, then you already know who wins this battle....

The point is this... There are two types of bacon, the great kind which is thick and has more meat then fat, and then there is the shitty kind, which is just super thin (composition of meat to fat ratio is irrelevant with shitty bacon simply because its mere existence is a waste of time, and therefore so would be any further discussion pertaining solely to aforementioned "shitty bacon") and nobody really ever likes it... EVER.

So now to the crux of the issue...

In our little cafeteria/lunchroom or whatever the hell you want to call the comedy of errors that is food service in this building... they have been serving shitty bacon with what seems to be an increased frequency. When I first started working here, which wasn't that long ago, there was good, even great bacon abound!! Now there exists this pile of shitty bacon, that for obvious reasons, remains a very large pile throughout the day and I am guessing is therefore wasted completely at the end of each work day.

I know this didn't happen with the great bacon, because the pan was almost empty numerous times and I found it challenging to procure any of the great bacon for myself. Not so with the shitty bacon, in fact they also use the shitty bacon on the breakfast sandwiches, which I find very troublesome.

So here is the deal... you keep serving your shitty bacon, and we will just keep not eating it. At the rate you are going through it (by throwing it out every night) I wager that you will be back to serving great bacon again in about one more week.

If for some reason the previous statement fails to arrive at present, I will be punching you, and your shitty bacon... you guessed it... right in the fucking neck... but it doesn't stop there. I will also make you eat all of the shitty bacon that you might fully experience the reality which you force all of us to live by serving aforementioned shitty bacon.

Link - 4:20
Let not ye fall to temptation of serving the shitty bacon, lest the lord strike thee down with furious anger over slaughtering such a shitty pig and then attempting to serve it as though the people eating it were shitty as well.

Ok, now for some science.. click the source link below to check out what a scientist at the University of California is proposing for removing Carbon Dioxide from our atmosphere.


-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, fresh to death, stupid fuckers

So this morning, the fucking new coffee girl at work handed me someone else's coffee... which I proceeded to doctor up by adding an obscene amount of half and half cream to.

All of the sudden, this lady taps me on the shoulder and says "umm, I think that's MY coffee..." As I read the sharpie ink on the side of the iced beverage cup... it became all too apparent that she was correct, the fucking new barista handed me the wrong coffee. She didn't call it out... and to make matters worse, it looked just like my daily request when it came off of the line.

Ok, no big deal right? Everyone makes mistakes, and surely I wasn't the only one to blame here. Wrong. The other customer was pretty upset about it, and decided that while she chose to wait for her replacement coffee, she would stare at the back of my head until it exploded or something (which didn't happen).

Anyhow, here is how I should have handled this...

HER: "umm, I think that's MY coffee..."

ME: (thinking to myself... wondering why I keep hearing a dog bark in the building... the slowly realizing that this troll is talking to me for real, and that I'm not staring in Lord of the Rings or something like that) "why are you talking to me?"

HER: "well.. umm... because you have MY coffee in your hand."

ME: "ok trick, obviously you aren't smart enough to pick up on the real issue at hand here... the fact that you are a fucking ugly troll that would scare this coffee right out of the cup, and you should really be more careful with where you point that god forsaken weapon (her face) before someone ends up suing you, or worse, decides to fix it for you by punching you in the fucking neck... any other shitty questions hobgoblin?

Oh and let me also elaborate on this issue of 'property' that you have raised, I own anything and everything that I can and desire to place my hands upon trick. That means this coffee, and the next one that I am going to knock out of your hands and onto the floor for even mentioning to me that you had a wish or a care. Like I give a fuck...."

HER: "oh my god!!! I can't believe you said that to me!!! What is your name, I am going to report your conduct to my manager!!!???!"

ME: "did you forget? I'm the boss of you, fucking shitty bitch. Now drop and don't stand back up until I leave the room, I don't want to cry on the inside anymore then I have to today from seeing your buck wild, trick nasty face. Oh, and this replacement coffee you have now, let me show you how you should drink it (knock coffee on the floor), see... dogs lap shit up off of the floor, and you being a dog, should follow suit."

I must say, it feels great just to even type this shit out... very therapeutic...


-link

Labels: adventures in bothell, ass clowns, bitch killa, fresh to death, jackassery, stupid fuckers

I am really fucking tired today. I got 2 hours of sleep. That auto-magically means that I am in a "take no prisoners" kind of mood. In fact, to quote a favorite video game character of mine... "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... but I'm all outta gum..."

That said, I ate a healthy breakfast at home of Kashi crunch followed by an apple. Needless to say, I was still hungry when I got to work.

I ventured down to the lunchroom to get my morning coffee and breakfast sandwich along with a nice vanilla yogurt. The breakfast sandwiches are setup a certain way. Nasty ass Ham on the left, Bacon in the middle and Nasty Ass Sausage on the right.

Today, some stupid mother fucker decided to play a little game and put the Bacon sandwiches on the left instead of the middle, but I caught that shit. I ALMOST grabbed the wrong type of sandwich, which I'm super glad didn't happen for my sake and the sake of everyone else here. Had I actually expected Bacon in my sandwich, and been surprised by the nasty taste of either other item, I would have immediately started punching everyone around me in the neck.

It wouldn't have been my fault though you see... it's because I have an allergy to all shit that is nasty or retarded. When I taste nasty food against my will it makes me want to hurt people around me who allow or contribute to it happening.


For instance, the smart ass mother fucker that decided to play some games this morning with my fucking breakfast would have instantly felt the wrath of my fist upon his trachea, followed by anyone else that tried to throw out a "hey that's not right!!!" or even "what are you doing???"


I'll show you first hand what I'm doing fuck face, and then I'll show your fairy ass over there just how right this really is. It's called "I don't fuck around, and that's why they call me 'trick nasty' now step mother fucker... step."


THEN I WILL SHOW EVERYONE HOW FUCKING WRONG IT IS TO PLAY GAMES WITH MY FUCKING FOOD, BECAUSE PLAYING WITH MY FOOD IS LIKE FUCKING WITH MY MONEY WHICH IS PARALLEL TO MESSING WITH MY EMOTIONS AND WILL SURELY GET YOU A PUNCH IN THE NECK AND/OR A CAP IN THE ASS.

You tricks know I have a blood sugar issue... fuck..........




-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, business is business

...then that would be the cleverest trick!

I read that today in a book full of poems by "Rumi" who is a pretty damn good... thinker... I guess you could say.

All of that aside, if you want to know more about Rumi, click the link above and it will take you to the Wikipedia page about him.

I decided to write this post after I read that line in this book, from a poem entitled "Quatrains" which is basically a grouping of four-line stanzas into one large poem. Again, if you want to know more about that specific term, there is a link for you above.

Now down to the meat of this issue... I find it interesting that if you really look around you in life, at the things you see, read, experience... but not necessarily influence, you can find just a little deeper meaning that can serve as a guide. I read this, and I believe that I read this today because I need to concentrate on letting go of the situation just a bit more.

I've worked on this before, but need to continue to work on it again... today, tomorrow and apply yesterday's lessons to what I am doing currently... really to every step I decide to take.

This last weekend some shitty bullshit occurred that I am completely and 100% responsible for. Everyone tells me that I should go after "this person" or "that person" in order to rectify it... and while I might be able to place blame on someone else for the loss and/or damage of my personal items... and believe me, there was a time when I would have jumped at the chance to... I think that for right now, I need to concentrate on how and maybe why I chose to put myself into a situation where that sort of thing was able to happen.

This isn't to say that I don't value the opinions of my friend's, but moreover it is to say that I am moving closer to a place where I can consider such opinions and options in my life without having to run like a wild beast at every good idea I hear.

I think that in this instance, letting go of my need to be clever and tricky in order to get over on someone, or undo something that I am in the end, completely responsible for, is another great step on my road to recovery.

I guess nobody ever said this was going to be easy... and god knows it was a seriously horrendous amount of work to get me here... but I know that when I have thoughts like this, and I make the right decision, that I am treading water again at least, and not slowly drowning like I was before. Thank god for air... and the ability to take it in.


-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

...and I punch you in the neck ASAP?

What is it about lunch-ladies that just makes me want to projectile vomit every time I see them? Here is my list:

1. Most of them seem like they have some kind of brain damage
2. If they don't have brain damage, then they are on tweak
3. They are always mean
4. They are never NOT ugly

Food is supposed to spark some kind of appeal, but for some reason they like to pair food up with the fucking hunchback of Notre Dame... fucking Quasimodo shitty bitch ass tricks...

-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa

Hello everyone, I just thought I would give a quick head's up to the fact that we are no longer supporting the email subscription.

Here is why:

1. I came up with the idea when I was high one day...
2. It's a shitty idea
3. Only the staff was actually using it
4. RSS is way better

Reasons I came up with for keeping it:

1. Rooster said it annoyed him

Well there you have it... It just wasn't worth keeping, even if I did get a tiny bit of pleasure out of it...

-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, stupid fuckers

...you need to have your badge where everyone can see it.

So I am grabbing some lunch in the cafeteria here, and as I'm heading out the door to go eat my food, this clearly very bored, "fake-curity" guard stops me and tells me that I need to have my badge displayed in a location that is visible to everyone.

Well, the funny thing about this statement is that "everyone" clearly doesn't give a fuck where in the hell my badge is... the truth of the matter is that only the fake-curity guard cares where my badge is displayed.

The second item I want to bring up, is the well kept idea that you just shouldn't get between a dog and its bone, food or whatever the fuck he has his eyes set on, in this case the word "food" would be appropriate.

Now I understand that I don't look much like a dog... but I sure do act like one when I'm hungry and someone gets stupid with me. In fact I act like a rabid wolf going after a bloody heard of sheep when I'm hungry, and I really don't give a fuck what gets in my way.

Had this not been a new job, or maybe in another life, I think the conversation would have gone like this:

"Umm sir... you need to display your badge where everyone can see it."

"Oh, that's funny... see, I came down here to the LUNCHROOM for some lunch. I don't remember coming down here to ask what in the fuck your shitty ass thought about where I have my badge clipped. But you know, I think if I look a little harder in my pockets, I might be able to find you another helping of "shut your fat fucking mouth you wannabe cop" or at the very least a tasty "bird" for you to feast your eyes on."

"Uhhh, uhhh... sir, your language is inappropriate for the workplace."

"Uhhh, uhhh... I can't understand you when you have four donuts in your mouth, and quite frankly YOU are inappropriate for the workplace you fucking disgruntled parking Nazi."

"Uhh...."

"That's right, just chew on your hand a bit more until you find some other violation to ding me on. How in the fuck are you going to chase someone down when you can't fall out of the chair you sit in? Oh I see, you call this "running a race to point out everyone else's problems before you face your own..." shit, and this whole time I thought you were suffering from chronic obesity with type 2 diabetes not far behind in the marathon to end your pitiful existence. I guess you really do learn something new every day...."

So anyhow, obviously things didn't go down like that... and obviously it just isn't healthy for any human being in their right mind to go from calm to that angry in a matter of seconds...

It sure would have kicked some major ass if had gone down like that though, last I heard this person was trying to write a book called "Diary of a loser with nothing better to do."

-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, business is business

So, I'm just about to leave for the day and so I thought I would post a little "somethin, somethin" about my first day at work.

I overslept 30 minutes this morning, which was on purpose because I shorted myself on sleep by attending a group function last night at a very late time. This caused me to skip breakfast, and I must say that I was very thankful to find out that my new place of employment has a cafeteria very much like the one I had grown accustomed to as a contractor at Microsoft.

Score.

So after having the healthy version of the Egg McMuffin (sorry McDonald's), followed by some fresh fruit and a coffee (yes, I'm back on the "sauce" again...), I was ready to go!

Most of what I saw today was kind of a "refresher" or blast from the past as I've done similar work in the past. What I was super interested in is the fact that I get to learn a ton about large scale medical equipment now, so that's kick ass.

Other than that, I pissed some more people off this morning with my "Bitch Killa" stickers on my car, noticed a ton of people on the freeway that definitely weren't very excited to be on their way to work, and made a resolution to get to bed early from now on so that I can ensure a nice breakfast and less rush on my way to work.

I sound so adult now... it's almost sickening...


-link

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in bothell, bitch killa, business is business

After reading and replying to our newest author (SquiSh) who posted about bogus tickets, I felt like I needed to provide a follow up to my own bogus ticket blog I posted back in September. If you want the full story on the absolute crap this was, you can read it here.

Anyway, I finally had my court date to contest this ticket. Just as I suspected, the municipal court would not throw out the case, even though the cop lied about how fast I was going and he never even had me sign the ticket. Tell me, if I didn't sign the ticket, what proof is there that it was even me in the car?

My lawyer informed me ahead of time that the municipal court doesn't care about right or wrong, they just want revenue. That's exactly what happened.

My fine was reduced by $70 and the ticket was deferred, so now I have to "behave" for 6 months, and if I accomplish that, the ticket will be dropped. I guess that's not all bad, but the fact is I still have to pay $100 on a bogus ticket.

It's complete crap though, my clean driving record of 8 years should show that I'm a safe driver.

Another example of jackassery, brought to you by the Bothell Municipal Court.

Labels: adventures in bothell, ass clowns, jackassery

It's no big secret... I used to work for AT&T Wireless, which was purchased by Cingular Wireless which is now part of AT&T again.... weird...

I guess the owner of this car was really confused by the whole situation:

This took place behind the very call center that I started working for AT&T Wireless in, also known to employees and alumni as "Bothell 2" hence the pictures show the "Bothell 2 parking lot." Go figure....

Anyhow, many thanks to the owner/driver of this car for crashing it and allowing all of our readers to amuse themselves for a few minutes.

-link

Labels: adventures in bothell, bitch killa, car, stupid fuckers

...yes you heard me right. That was full blown sarcasm.

On my way to my friend's house today, I tried to roll down both of my windows. Since they were still frozen shut even though everything else had the snow melted off (back window, front window, moon roof...), they stuck in place.

The motors however, did not... in fact they kept trying to run long after the clips broke off of the window regulators. It's a great sound really, one that I will never forget. The clip breaks, the motor spins (pulling the part that holds the window, those clips, out of alignment), and the window stays in place (for now) until the snow melts and then the windows will probably fall down into the door.

Just like the passenger window did the first time the clips broke, during an all employee meeting for AT&T Wireless years ago...

Oh well.. at least this part is still covered on my Volkswagen warranty. I'll be contacting the dealership on Monday to have these fixed. Great.. like I have all the free time in the world to waste on this.

Yeah... well... have fun reading...


-link

Labels: adventures in bothell, bitch killa, car, thoughts, weather

I get just a tiny bit frustrated once in awhile when I am forced to interact with stupid bitches.

I ordered an Iced Mocha earlier at Starfucks, which is different from my normal drink, but I wanted something different. They managed to put some chocolate in the coffee, and then fucked the whole entire goddamned fuck loving mess apart by putting whipped cream on the top of it.

That’s when it suddenly became time for me to release this wonderful bit of sunshine from my mouth:

"Whoa bitch, what in the fuck are you doing?"

"Ummm…. I’m just making your mocha..???"

"Wrong trick, you are fucking my drink up. I want to know why."

"Well mocha means you get whipped cream on top…"

"WRONG AGAIN BITCH, MOCHA ACTUALLY MEANS THAT YOU PUT CHOCOLATE IN THE COFFEE, NOT SHITTY BULLSHIT ON TOP OF IT."

"I wasn’t putting (airquotes)shitty bullshit(/airquotes) on the coffee sir."

"Yes actually you were. Now shut the fuck up."

I ended up having to splash my coffee back on her so she could learn her lesson. I mean shit, what I really meant by "Iced Grande Mocha" was in fact that, an Iced Grande Mocha. Not an Iced Grande piece of flaming shit.

Starfucks... I didn’t walk in with some "get tricky" smile, or any kind of fucking bullshit look in my eye that said "this guy really loves whipped cream." Man, fuck you. Just fuck, right off, with your shitty ass coffee. I drank the free stuff at work all week, and that shit was good. ALL FOR FREE BITCHES!!! ALL FOR FREE!!! You are done dropping dimes on me, trick.


-link

Labels: adventures in bothell, starbucks