...and while I think I've already said enough about this cock-master, mother fucker who attempted to rage on me today... but... I think I'll keep talking.

I was on my way home from work today, attempting to make a good pace in the midst of horrible 3:30 PM traffic. Let me explain a bit about 3:30 PM traffic on the 405 around here...

If you drive it enough around that time from the Eastside going Northbound, you will see that bad traffic doesn't actually start until right around 3:30 PM. It's bad, but if you are smart, it moves. You just can't be an idiot and start freaking people out by slamming your brakes on every other minute.

That said, I was past Bothell and on I-5 at this point... and some jackass in a fucking Iroq-Z was "driving" in front of me. I started to notice that the driver was letting "the gap" in front of him get bigger and bigger... I shit you not, we were at the 10+ car lengths between him and the next car.

During this little ordeal, I managed to keep anywhere from 1.5 to 2 car lengths away from this guy... I think most people would agree that's not very close at all. Still, this bastard felt the need to keep tapping his brakes, and to throw his hazard lights on more than once. Finally, when everyone way up in front of us is slowing down, he comes to a complete stop, still 10+ car lengths away.

Naturally, I stop very close to him since I had expected he would keep rolling forward. He gets all upset with me and I finally decide to go around him. Upon doing so he throws his arms up in the air and attempts to get me even more riled up.

He then followed me up the Mukilteo speedway, and got off right behind me on the Evergreen Way exit... I decided at this point that this fucker cannot know where I live. So, I find a dead end street near by with a nice city block sized loop. I drove down to this loop, and just started driving around it until this jackass finally got upset and left.

Fucking awesome!!!! You want a fresh one you frosty ass old crotchety fuck face loser?


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Labels: adventures in everett, stupid fuckers

I'm pretty stoked about my decision to switch over to wordpress. I just have a few obstacles in my way:

1. Figuring out how to convert these posts on Blogger (hosted on my private domain, not blogspot) over to wordpress (MySQL) format.
2. Deciding on a skin to go with, or figuring out how to let my readers choose which one they want to use.
3. Figuring out how to maximize my ad revenue.

Win's so far:

1. I like the login system, sure would be nice if I could somehow authenticate blogger logins via Google. For now it looks like people might have to create their own logins (I know, I think it's lame also)
2. Got ad-sense working on the comments area. I would like to display them on the front page as well, not sure where yet though.

So I'm stoked, and as soon as it's ready, you will be too!

Labels: adventures in everett, current events, thoughts

I heard this today:

"Now don't get me wrong. My tricks like to get pounded in the snizz just like any other self respecting, cock rocking, twat vehicle."

Pounded in the snizz??? Holy fuck balls, that's nasty!!

Funny enough, Wikipedia didn't have an entry for "snizz" but the Urban Dictionary sure did! Click on the link in the last sentence for more information, I rather enjoyed number 11 although it is nowhere near true. Number 2 is appropriate for this usage, number 3 if you want to be nasty and number 4 if you have an overwhelming need to be clinical in your description of the best thing I've ever put my dick in since the light socket..... oh... uuuuhhhhh... I swear it grows an inch every time...

So, after hearing that earlier today, I decided to find the worst word for the pleasure box that I could think of. I think it actually might be "cooze." Definition number 4 says exactly what I think of when I hear the word "cooze."

Anyhow, I'm going to go figure out why I decided to post about nasty terms for a vagina, but I sincerely hope you enjoy it.


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Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, thoughts

So I just got back from the local Top Food & Drug (formerly Stock Market Foods, and currently also known as Haggen Foods), and I came back with some damn tasty Red Vines:



Well, there you have it... tasty motherfuckin Red Vines. I have some really awesome things to say about this specific package of candy. I mention only this specific package of Red Vines as I have received "less than savory" packages from "American Licorice Company" before.


Anyhow, back to the candy at hand... this has to be the best package of licorice that I have ever had!!!


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, thoughts

So I'm sitting here reviewing some metrics for eNemesis via Google Analytics and a commercial comes on for this produce called "extenZe" which if you don't already know, is a penis enlargement "option."

I started wondering just how much of a sham this infomercial was so did a search to see if I could find any trash talk on the net about it.

I ended up finding the site in the "Source" link below. I have to say, I was damn surprised that someone went to the trouble to build this site.

Then the author added a section about what worked for him... Ha, wow.

Now that's nothing but trick nasty De'Rail!


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Labels: adventures in everett, jackassery, reviews, thoughts

So today was interesting to say the least. I found out that someone whom I used to hang out with on an almost daily basis, and lately haven't been even talking to let alone hanging out with just overdosed for the second time this year.

During this overdose, this person was actually dead for about half a minute. Apparently the story goes like this:

It's hard when you are trying to get clean. It's worse when you chose an opiate to be your drug rather an an upper of some sort. Uppers always seem easier to kick (METH being a very HUGE exception to that rule).

From what I heard, his relapse started about two or three days ago. It's that same trip that everyone has, it's just that when you are addicted and your brain starts to play games with you.... you generally turn to something that will slow it down or shut it off so that you can get through the day without just going crazy.

It really is an obsession of the mind and an allergy of the body.

I guess he was doing really well until he started feeling this way. He called his family and some friends and nobody really had any time for him, or so he felt. He ended up using this as an excuse to use. So today he went to the H man's house and ended up shooting about 50 out of 80 units in his syringe (or so I am told).

Now I'm no doctor, but I'm guessing had he gone and done the entire 80 units (whatever that means) he probably would actually be dead now.

Now back to the story... so I guess he got his fix, and while still sitting in the chair at the dope mans house he began to feel the effects of his overdose. Being a somewhat smart guy, he decides that he needs to leave and seek out medical help.

He walks outside to his car, and upon reaching it he quickly realizes that driving would be a bad idea because he had no doubt that he would crash the car as soon as he blacked out. He looks around and remembers there is a fire station nearby.

He starts walking toward the fire station, now it's a race between his legs and the H in his blood. He barely makes in there, sees a fireman washing the firetruck. The fireman asks him what's wrong, he blurts out that he is overdosing on heroin and that he needs some "narcon" or something like that.

The next thing he remembers is waking up by vomiting all over himself.

Apparently right after he told the fireman what was going on, the H got him. He blacked out and fell flat on his face on the cement. Cut his forehead and busted his lip open. Since he told the firefighter what was going on, they shot him up with "narcon" and then hit him with the defibrillator paddles. No response.

I guess they did everything they could, and just as the fireman gave up and turned around, to pronounce him or whatever they do, the guy I know woke up and threw up all over himself. The firefighter had never seen it before. His heart had stopped and he was officially dead.

Now... just think if you had gone through that today. Makes those shitty problems you have seem a lot less serious, no?


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Labels: adventures in everett, jackassery, stupid fuckers, the pain of getting well, thoughts

This is how they looked at first, notice the egg sac hanging from the intertwined slugs (I'm guessing this is similar to a money shot for humans):

Our screwing duo from a different angle and a bit further away:

Here we show the long "snot rocket" holding the slugs to the siding of the house:

...and obviously here we show that slugs aren't that much different than humans (notice the male trying to leave the scene after the business is done, that's right trick, no cuddling):

The same scene from above:

So, what we didn't show here is that right after this, the acting male (you will find out why I said that in a second) attempts to leave the scene and the acting female climbs back up the "snot rocket" ladder to go find somewhere to deposit the egg sac.

Apparently the egg sac will contain around 30 eggs which may or may not graduate into actual living offspring. I read up on them via Wikipedia, I love Wikipedia and I don't really give a fuck if the information is completely accurate or not.

From the "Slug" Wikipedia article:

"Slugs are hermaphrodites, having both female and male reproductive organs. Once a slug has located a mate they encircle each other and sperm is exchanged through their protruding genitalia. A few days later around 30 eggs are laid into a hole in the ground or under the cover of objects such as fallen logs."

So I guess what's really weird that you can't quite see in the pictures is that the egg sac actually looked like a flower for a bit and then kind of like a mushroom with the wavy cap edges. I seriously wish that my "seed" looked like a flower exploding when it came out.... that would be a selling point in itself!!

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Labels: adventures in everett, animals, use and abuse

Yeah... you know what I'm talking about.

It's that feeling you get when you're pursuing something you love, running through a field of flowers in the summer air, watching a tree grow toward the sun come hell or high water.

Watching a plant lose a branch, only to replace it with another, as though it's only living purpose on this planet is to do exactly that.... to live... to grow... but most of all to overcome.

I guess we all decide how to live a bit differently, but in every one's life you can see the same pattern of happiness obtained through the chasing of dreams. I think they might even call that the "pursuit of happiness" since it does seem to be a bit more like a flowing river that can dry up occasionally, more than it seems like a constant which you can obtain forevermore. It obtains it's existence from our pursuit of it.

If we did not desire it... it would not exist.

I suppose desire is what happiness is really all about. I also suppose that if you don't get that, then you don't get life.... and what a shame to not get life, yet be condemned to repeat it until you do. How dark those days are when you cannot see tomorrow for fear that your happiness has left you forever.

What you don't know is that it's right around the corner my friend, just an earshot away... and waiting for you to call it back, that's all. It's just as close as you want it to be, without ever giving you more than you can handle. You just have to desire it the most....

Yes friends, I suppose it is my destiny to chase that feeling for as long as I possibly can. To see it on a daily basis and know that my time is spent well and without future regret. To regain a time in my life when I was able to see tomorrow and shed away the darkness that comes with those horrible feelings of mistakes made past. To look forward towards new opportunities, new fields to run through and new waterfalls to chase.... To never stop believing in that feeling....

....that feeling, that makes.... me.

Yes... I do... suppose.....



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Labels: adventures in everett, thoughts

So I bought a new razor yesterday, the Gillette Fusion. You can click the source link below if you want to go to their uber-brain wash website where they teach you why their razor is so great that you will think Jesus is a guy on the corner who sells flowers on holidays and window washes every other day of the week.

No shit...

So far I really like it, having used it once...

I found the 5 blades to be super smooth, and the single blade on the back was great for doing tight trims. I was very happy to see that they kept the "wash through" design of the blades in effect. It's nice to be able to run water along the back of the razor and have it push all of the hair out through the front.

This pack also came with a travel case in addition to the normal plastic tray that it sits in. I dig the travel case because I happen to be going to Portland, OR this weekend, but also because every time I travel and throw a bunch of bathroom crap in my toiletry bag, something wet like the soap container, or the razor after it is/was freshly used, causes everything to get wet.

There is just something about getting my razor wet in "unknown water" that creeps me out... I certainly don't want to run it against my face after that...

I think however, that I might want to go get the power version, which I guess they call the "Phantom." I had the M3 Power (green one) and I really liked that, so it makes me wonder what I'm missing by having the normal fusion razor... I'm positive that there has to be some capitalist elite feeling I will get from having a wet razor powered by a battery. I mean fuck, I can't let the Jones' catch up with me... because then I'll have to hand out punches to the neck, and that shit always gets so dirty...

If I find out anything else about the razor that I like/don't like, I'll be sure to let you know...


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Labels: adventures in everett, business is business, fresh to death, reviews, technology

...now that I know you already have a boyfriend... maybe I'll just stop drinking coffee for another couple of months and see how you like me then... trick!!!

Totally kidding... the girl that I will mention later in this post is as sweet as apple pie. I'm speaking figuratively, but I'm sure if I had the chance, I could vouch for it literally as well.

So it's late/early... whatever. I still haven't been to sleep because I fell asleep a bunch at the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie earlier in the evening.

I decided to work on switching this laptop that I have over to Ubuntu, but I'm having no end of problems attempting to boot from a USB flash drive.... long story short, I'm probably going to need to pony up the dough and go get an external USB CD-ROM drive... which I will promptly return after I get what I need out of it...

So, because I'm up so late, I decided to go get a coffee at the local coffee hut. This one happens to be a "Big Foot Java" and there are a ton of cute - hot (to be read as "cute through hot" and understood as "the girls working at this coffee hut are at a minimum cute, and on more than a few occasions are actually hot") girls working at this location. There happens to be one girl there that I really enjoy chatting with, not to mention that she is pretty smart, going to medical school, and is pretty hot to boot. She shows some interest, and actually said she was worried that something had happened to me because she hadn't seen me for so long (referring to an approximately two month period where I had stopped drinking coffee).

Well needless to say, I thought this was all very cute and began to find myself very interested in this young lady. Today she fucking broke my fragile heart by mentioning that she already had a boyfriend. I almost asked her what his name was and where he lived so that I could make sure he was "safe and sound" because "we wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him and then possibly end their relationship..."

Yeah, that of course did not happen... but it would have been very "bitch killa" of me to do so.. Damn, I really need to work on my follow-through skills...

Something really funny that I noticed today though was the fact that she was talking a mile a minute, went out of her way to tell me that she had "allergies" cropping up, and then made some interesting comment about "well if you happen to snort something up your nose..." Ya, that reminds me of the good ol' days when I used to accidentally slip and fall into a line up my nose... or something like that...

Now, let me be very clear that I am not accusing her of actually doing drugs, just that what she was saying reminded me of a less than pleasant time in my life that I can never forget about but can always learn from.

Anyhow, I still think they have great coffee, and very nice eye candy... I recommend the Everett Mall Way location, which you can find by clicking on the link here. My favorite drink is the 20oz Peppermint Mocha with whipped c


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa

I love good food, I love good music... and I really love watching movies on my phone.

So know that I will tell your ass right here and now, that being able to watch movies on my 8125 is the sickest shit that any one's sissy bitch ass will ever know and/or love.

Now, as I watch "Old School" on my phone, and laugh at everyone who can't watch movies on their phones... you can go fuck yourself with a recycled peanut butter jar... or not... totally your choice. I'm a no pressure sort of guy...


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Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, cool shit

...it's already too late for your ass.

There's actually a logical reason for that... it's because once my anger starts boiling... it usually takes the house going up in flames for it to return to normal levels. I don't generally have the "luxury" of simply taking the pan/pot off of the burner to cool it down.

That said, I don't like being pissed off in the morning. I don't really give a fuck what is going on in your life/day/moment or childhood to cause you to fuck up in my presence, I am a selfish prick mother fucker in the morning and that ISN'T changing.

I won't ever be "Mr. Nicey Nice" in the morning, and I would rather get in a fist fight then act all "happy go lucky" in the morning. Just ask my ex-girlfriend, in fact she hates that shit so much that I'm sure I drove her to the point of punching me more than once. She has a bit more self control however, so I don't think she actually followed through with it... that I can remember at least. Anyhow, that's another subject for another time...

This morning I got up, just like I do at the same time every morning. I stepped out of my bedroom and into the bathroom when I heard someone ask me if I was going to take a shower...

Let's just stop right here... because really, it doesn't fucking matter what in the hell i was or wasn't going to do. I was going to do it, and I will continue doing it at the same fucking time every morning.

So next time you have a fucking variance in YOUR schedule, make sure you don't fuck up MY SCHEDULE by trying to muscle in and hawk eye the fucking bathroom that you like to dirty the fuck out of and then not clean like you are supposed to.

Oh also, if you happen to read this today, and feel like you might want to say something to me, I want you to think about a couple of things first... like for instance:

1. The cereal that I paid for but your daughter ate and then you left open to get it stale
2. My lotion and mouthwash that you clearly help yourself to without asking
3. Your fucking noisy kid that you don't discipline and let run down the fucking hall early in the morning
4. The free shit I gave you yesterday
5. Your shitty ass bullshit attitude about everything
6. The half empty cups/glasses that you leave literally EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE in the house
7. The fucking shitty ass toys that you let your kid leave in the bathtub, EVERY FUCKING DAY after she takes a bath
8. The hole you burned in the front living room carpet

I think that what bothers me the most is that you don't pay any rent to act like such a piece of shit, and you don't even do the chores that you are supposed to be do

Ok, I'm going to stop there... only because if you do read this, I don't want to feel guilty if you should decide to just end it all...

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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

When I wake up in the mornin' love,
And the sunlight hurts my eyes,
Then somethin' without warnin' love,
Bears heavy on my mind...

That's the opening verse from "Sunshine" by Twista which was released back in the early 2000's (I think 2002-2003 or something around there... I don't feel like looking it up).

In reality it was sampled from another song recorded in 1978 by Bill Withers and Skip Scarborough, the original writer/creators of the song.

Either way... I wanted to start out with that today because it reminds me of how I used to start each day.... with something bearing heavy on my mind each morning.

Since I made the decision to clean up my life, I've noticed that each day I am just a bit more willing to get up and face the day, in fact today I think I was actually excited to get up and go for a walk early in the morning before most people are even awake. I plan to move up to a jog and then a jog with some bursts of running to push myself, but first things first.

Today I get the pleasure of going to have lunch with my aunt, and to see my grandparents again. I love my grandparents and my eldest aunt very much, they have been an unshakable influence in my life, and when I find that I have lost my way, or the swells in the water are too much to handle, I have always been able to depend on them for a safe harbor. For that I am eternally grateful.

That brings up another subject that I want to place some more focus on, my Grandmother. I love her so very much, and I cannot even begin to list the things she has done for me in my life without even mentioning word one about it, always letting someone else take the credit or just letting things go. I went to visit them on Easter weekend and I found out that she had been praying for me, and that she knew I was on something the entire time, but never said anything to me about it I felt like my heart broke in half.

This very strong woman has Parkinson's, can barely move, and still finds time to devote her energy to my well being... even now... even after I basically threw it back in her face and told her it didn't matter to me, even though it really does tremendously.

For that, I will always carry shame. I realize now that I have to carry this badge for the rest of my life, and that the only thing I can do to make it better is to not be that way ever again.

I remember a time when I kept saying "someday I'll go visit... someday I'll be sober and go spend time with her..." and now my friends I know, that someday never comes. It's not just a catchy tune in a song, it's not just some fancy thing to make you feel motivated for 30 seconds and then forget about your problems. It's the truth. We have only the here and now to work with, not tomorrow, and certainly not yesterday.

I heard something pretty cool in class the other day:

"You have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow and you are pissing all over today."

...and that's the way it is...

Music: Sunshine - Twista, Changes - 2pac, Same Direction - Hoobastank (I know... so just keep your opinions to yourself on my music taste)


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

...because it may not be there when you decide to turn back.

I was sitting in this very well known fellowship meeting yesterday... and we decided to talk about a subject entitled "blind trust."

It's something I'm having trouble with right now, that and an overwhelming presence of anger. The trust issue however is something that I have to tackle before the anger leaves. I feel this way for a few reasons... but I guess I don't really want to talk about those yet.

This post is more about what I heard at this meeting yesterday, what a certain someone in the meeting said that really caught me by the ear... and the heart.

This person talked about his experience with trust, and while I can't remember word for word what he said, I did write down a few points of interest that I thought I would share:

1. Truth without love is cruelty
2. Getting up in someones face over a matter or situation that you don't have an answer for is brutality
3. You've been trusting people like yourself your entire life, so why should that change now
4. There is no growth in things that are the same and comfortable
5. You have been assigning the role of friend to people you don't even like

Out of everything he said, I wrote those five things down because they really just took my mind away to another place.

I thought about elaborating on what each one means... but really, it doesn't matter what they mean to me. Everyone who reads these is going to have their own meaning, and their own past situations to which they can attribute the phrases.

Also, for my dear friends that I still definitely talk to and interact with, don't be alarmed by #5. That was more of a retrospective thing for me... just being able to look back and further justify why I had chosen to break certain relationships or bonds off.

So that's that... I guess I really don't have a ton to say this morning... mainly because I'm caught up in much of my own thought today.

This weekend was good times for the most part. There were little issues here and there, but really, who doesn't have those? I got to see quite a few people that I hadn't seen in awhile, and I got to do it looking more healthy, and feeling better about myself. For that, I am consistently and always grateful.

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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

So this is really more about how I felt during the day yesterday... because some shit went down at treatment last night that didn't make me too happy. I can't dwell on it, I just have to move forward... but it's still upsetting.

So yesterday, I was listening to AC/DC's "Back in Black" and reading the lyrics. It's something that I've always enjoyed doing, but lately I seem to be gleaning all kinds of new information and thoughts from this music I am "re-listening" to....

I guess I can really relate to this:

Back in black, I hit the sack,
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back
Yes I'm let loose from the noose,That's kept me hangin' about
I been livin like a star 'cause it's gettin' me high,
Forget the hearse, 'cause I never die
I got nine lives, cat's eyes abusing every one of them and running wild

Deep... that's pretty much EXACTLY what I was doing. Who knew I was a rock-star in a past life. Speaking of past lives, I just met this lady that said when she drank she became a "LasVegas showgirl-therapist".... dancing all wild on the stage and trying to give anyone advice who would listen. I think we all know people like that, and I think we can all relate to the idea that it's sometimes easier to concentrate on fixing someone else rather than ourselves.

So yesterday, I shared my thoughts on this song with group, and then promptly in front of the entire group, my counselor accused me of relapsing. I told him he was full of shit, and that I really thought he had said that because I was making analogies with old rock music.

He then gave the entire class a lesson on urinalysis using my past three results. I then responded by ripping him a new asshole in front of everyone. He then took the high moral ground and told me that it's evident to everyone in the room how tight of a grip my addiction has on me. That made me furious, so I refused to participate in group for the next two hours by being silent.

I'm finding that it's hard for me to admit when I'm wrong, or even consider other possibilities when I feel like I am being attacked. That's something that I have to work on.

The fact of the matter is this, I did not relapse on purpose. I did not intentionally use (we are talking about marijuana here). I did however intentionally put myself in many trigger zones this past weekend, one of which happened to be a room filled with pot smoke. I didn't think it would show up on a test because 1) I didn't get high, and 2) I wasn't actually smoking or ingesting the pot. I was wrong.

That was early Sunday morning. Then Monday I went back down to my mom's house to get some things, took a look at a bag that my sister had purchased, and out of habit I licked the bag flap to hold it closed after I rolled it up. That probably also contributed to my "off the scale" results.

Some further details:

Two tests ago, I had a ratio of THC to urine strength of something around 180. I took another test on Monday evening, which came back with a ratio of 487. A very substantial increase (I'm approximating numbers now because I don't remember the exact values, this is because I was so angry about being accused of doing something that I knew I didn't do) which my counselor decided meant that I had smoked.

For me the argument was over use vs. no-use. To him the argument was about being honest vs. trying to cover up my activities for the weekend. I had another talk with him after group, and even though I didn't "intentionally relapse" he is now very concerned about all of these stupid little "trigger areas" that I revealed to him in hopes of clearing my good name. He considers this a relapse whether I used or not, and I now understand why. Now that I am calm.

The fact of the matter is that I had no right to rip him a new one in front of class, and he probably should have at least prepared me for the situation before group rather than springing it on me. Unfortunately though, that's a desire not a need... the reality in life is that we are very seldom prepared for situations that we don't want to handle or acknowledge, and understanding that is living life on life's terms, not mine.

This entire situation upsets me. I feel like my credibility with my group is shot, and that everyone thinks I'm a liar because of this scientific test that they use and my loss of temper in front of everyone. I feel like no matter what I say, that they are all just excuses and that I need to just take this with a smile on my face and accept the reality that I'm not in charge of this situation, even though I want to be more than anything.

I don't feel sober now, I feel drunk on anger... I feel like this anger will consume me again if I let it, and I think that I can only displace this anger in my heart with love, understanding and a strong determination to get this right at any cost.

I didn't use, and I know in my heart and soul that I didn't. That means quite a bit to me simply because there was a time when I didn't care, and now is a time where I do care. I care deeply, and I know that's part of why it makes me so angry that I got called out for something I thought was harmless... simply being around it.

I started participating in group near the end, and I talked to my counselor after group and apologized for my actions during group. He told me the apology is the first step, and that I need to process this entire event with group today and tomorrow while he is out on vacation.

This means we have a "substitute" counselor for the next two days... she is the director of the treatment center and super critical. Super... I can't wait....

Music: Tool - 10,000 Days


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

Go figure, when you start eating right, sleeping right and become drug and alcohol free.... your body starts hitting up what I like to call the "farmer schedule" and tries to get you out of bed all early and shit....

bah....


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

...rather than percent?

Well here's why:

"The percentage of alcohol in distilled liquors is commonly expressed in degrees of "proof" rather than as a percentage of pure alcohol. This measure developed from the seventeenth-century English custom of "proving" that an alcoholic drink was of sufficient strength by mixing it with gunpowder and attempting to ignite it. If the drink contained 49 percent alcohol by weight or 57 percent by volume, it could be ignited. Proof is approximately double the percentage of pure alcohol. A 100 proof whiskey is therefore 50 percent pure alcohol; an 86 proof whiskey is 43 percent alcohol."

If you want to know where I got that info, you can ask, otherwise I will spare you the nasty details.


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

I suppose that the most difficult part of coming back to reality is dealing with all of the broken pieces... the wreckage you left behind. Realizing that it's cleanup time, and understanding that not everyone wants to participate in that activity.

I went to visit my family this weekend. My mom and sister, aunt and uncle on Saturday, and then my grandparents and my other aunt on Sunday.

I can't really say which day went better, because they were both full of pain. But I can say that I feel better now that I have started to reach out and patch up these relationships that I have let crumble.

I think probably the hardest thing for me to hear is that my grandmother, someone who can't really walk or move around all that well anymore, has spent her days praying for me, praying that I would be taken care of and that I would find my way out of the dark cave that I had chosen to live in. Still, even when she can't move around or do hardly anything on her own, she still does things for me, she still cares and still wants to help. I'm not even sure what more to say about that....

My aunt that lives with my grandparents was ecstatic to see how much better I look. She also told me that she was proud of me because it takes a lot of courage to do what I am doing, to admit that you are wrong and fix it, to move forward even when everything in your mind is telling you that you don't have to change to get better.

Saturday was a much bigger roller coaster, I went to my mom's house, saw my sister and my mom, both of who are hurting pretty bad right now. My sister is addicted to Meth-Amphetamines and my mom has pretty much given up when it comes to life and the pursuit of happiness... in "this world" anyhow...

My mom is more concerned about how she is going to mow her lawn then how she is going to eat. My sister is lost in her drugs, in that dark cave that I just left. I can't help but feel partially responsible for that, just because I certainly didn't set a great example for her. Everything I have accomplished had some type of addiction tied into it, so I'm quite sure that she thought everything would be ok for her as well if she kept using. That's hard to swallow....

My aunt and uncle in Kent are doing very well on the other hand. My aunt has stopped drinking, the house is slowly but surely being repaired and coming out of the ruin it has been in for the past ten years... also due to another nasty addiction that affected that part of my family.

I think when I look around and I see these problems becoming less and less in my family, it makes me happy, and it gives me something to hold onto as I get better. I also know that I have to make a serious decision about how much I want to interact with my own mother, mainly because how she acts and manipulates others is a very big trigger for me to use again. It's hard to admit to yourself that your creator would do you harm if they could, even unconsciously, it's still harm. I can't stress enough how sad that makes me, and how hard it is for me to accept that and move on. I want to help her, fuck I want to fix the whole thing for her... but I can't keep jumping in the fire to do it, because sooner or later I will catch and burn.... and I won't be able to put myself out....

There is nothing more dangerous than a man on fire in his own mind. He will do anything to put out the flames.... until he can extinguish them on his own, he should be avoided at all costs.

I'll leave you all with the horoscope that I received on my phone this morning courtesy of MSN mobile alerts. I want to preface this by saying that I don't necessarily believe that an incoming sms will change my life, but I do like to take inspiration from things that I read, and that includes these silly little horoscope things:

"Leo - Go ahead and throw your plan out the window. Follow your bliss."

...maybe I'll do just that....

Still no cigarettes!! 100% sober for 13 days!!!

Music: Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama

Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in everett, bitch killa, the pain of getting well

...because I really do have enough of them to go around.

So today I got really angry earlier... just angry at everything....

I suppose it started with waking up to find out that my phone had been turned off. I thought I had till the end of my billing cycle (the 8th) to pay, but I was wrong.

I logged in to check out the invoice, and I owed almost $500. Being unemployed makes that a large bill.... hell that's a large bill even if you are working, but I'm sure I would have handled it a little better if I knew I had money coming in.

I felt some rage today, just so overwhelming that I wanted to break something. I wasn't sure what to do about it at first, and I have to admit that it scares me. It scares me because this is a problem that I had as a child, and I thought I had under control.

In reality... I did have it under control until I chose to give up my normal coping skills and use substances as my fix for issues that I didn't or felt that I couldn't handle.

I worry now that I might be somewhere around a lot of people... and lose it. I worry that I won't be able to stop myself one day and I will say something very bad that I can't fix later with more words... or even worse cross a very bad line and actually hurt someone. This rage is like an idling engine.... always ready to go, and at the first sign of a race track... it seems to fully engage the throttle...

I have trouble talking to people about it. Everyone thinks they know what I'm going through, and tries to tell me how I should handle it. That makes me even more furious... so much that I want to just yell at the very people trying to help me. The only thing that really calms me down right now is myself... not someone else telling me to be calm. That's like trying to shove a cork into an erupting volcano...

It makes me mad when people tell me to get over it also... I feel like I've held onto this anger for so long, that it was the only thing keeping me warm at night... I know now that it is the reason for my abuse, and that I have to let it go, but that it needs to be on my terms, and that I need to get it out, not hold it in.

I went to my treatment today harboring this anger, and with ideas of what I was going to do once I got there involving a "fuck you" to my counselor and whatever else I could think of. I didn't do any of that, and thank god that my counselor went over some things that I needed to hear today. He got me to bring myself back into the fold, share with the group, and I felt way better about it. If only everything was that easy.....

So now that I've grown a bit... what I'm left with is myself... in a torn, shattered, fractured and very unstable state.... but it is me.... and I'm more than good with that.


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, the pain of getting well

...and no I'm not talking about that shitty Jap-cracker movie either with "Sarah Michelle-Oh Shut the fuck up already" in it.

I'm talking about something I've been holding onto, and I'm also talking about the song by tool (yes the band...)

Here are some lyrics from the song:

Wear your grudge like a crown of negativity.
Calculate what you will or will not tolerate.
Desperate to control all and everything.
Unable to forgive your scarlet letter men.

Wear the grudge like a crown.
Desperate to control.
Unable to forgive.
And we're sinking deeper.

Defining, confining, sinking deeper.
Controlling, defining, and we're sinking deeper.

They caught me this morning as I was listening to music..... I've heard this song so many times that I really thought I had gleaned all of the hidden meaning from it..

I suppose in reality I had, based on my previous state of mind. Now that I have a new state of mind, things seem just a bit more meaningful. I suppose what really caught me off guard was my difference in perception.

I think before I used to look for the crown mentioned above... like I needed to have it on. Now I know where the crown is, because I took it off and threw it as far away from myself as I could and then ran swiftly in the other direction.

Some people might find that to be a bit cowardly... a sign of weakness if you will. I suppose I don't even take it to that level... for me it was about survival, and finally understanding that you can never win a battle when the only opponent is yourself.

.....and now, to lighten the mood... here's a PSA from your favorite QB, Peyton Manning:

Spend time with your kids, so Peyton Manning doesn't




-link

Labels: adventures in everett, the pain of getting well

Hello all... my apologies for not writing anything in such a long time. I just got laid up in bed for about five days with a combination ass kicker...


The flu (Vegas strain... thanks Tony!) and bronchitis... I have only myself to thank for the last one.


Let me run down the events for you:

1. I stopped smoking the green last Tuesday, before this time I was an every day user of the green


2. This sent my immune system into a bit of shock, which is to be expected


3. Around this same time, my buddy Tony came back from LasVegas with the flu


4. I hung out with him thinking I wouldn't catch it (yes I know I'm an idiot for that one)


5. I caught it


6. The flu had me in so much pain that I stopped smoking tobacco as well for the duration


7. The removal of a daily influx of inhaled materials caused my lungs to go into purge mode
   
8. I had bronchitis though, which constricts your airways... therefore none of my coughing was productive, leaving extremely large amounts of mucus in my left lung there to fester and incubate more bacteria

Now for the slide show. I know that everyone in the world understands that cigarettes can seriously harm or even kill you.

If you still need a push in the right direction, check out what came out of my left lung over just about 6 hours (I almost wish I had gotten pictures of my first spit glass, I'm sure if this doesn't make you vomit, that those other pictures would have):

SERIOUSLY, THESE PICTURES ARE FUCKING NASTY. IF YOU ARE EATING, HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, OR ARE GENERALLY GROSSED OUT BY PICTURES OF HUMAN BYPRODUCT, THEN WE ADVISE THAT YOU STOP READING AT THIS TIME. WE ACTUALLY RECOMMEND AGAINST VIEWING PICTURES OF THIS NATURE EVER.

The second picture is one of me pouring the glass out, I thought the angle was good so I snapped a shot. I just wanted to make sure that nobody thought I would actually dare touch this crap, even if it did come out of me.

Now... go light up a cigarette.... I mean what's the worse that could happen really? Maybe both lungs will fill up instead of just one....

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, business is business, smoking sucks, the pain of getting well

...and let me tell you why...

BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING INVASION OF MY PRIVACY!!!!

If I want to read your email, and then I choose not to respond because I think your email is shitty, then get over yourself.

You don't need to be all "big brother" and try to spy on me. Oh and I really love the "deletion receipts" too! It's great when I get a notice that says

"ALERT: The sender of this email has such a low self esteem that they need to know if you read their email before you deleted it. Would you like to ruin this miserable prick's day?"

Just so you know, I want to click "yes" every time... I really do. I want to let every single person who does this shit know that they suck. But I don't, because more than wanting to ruin their day controls me, is my urge to deny people like this any forward progress in any domain I see as my own, including my Email Inbox.

That said, the next person who attaches a fucking read receipt to an email they send me is not only going to get the read receipt, but a nice kick in the pants... one suitable for the shittiest of bitches and "small dick" email senders alike.


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, email, growth, stupid fuckers, thoughts

...yes, I'm thinking about it. I have to figure out a few things, but once I get the particulars figured out, I think I'm going to go for it!

I spoke with a veteran in the industry yesterday because as luck would have it, "I have a friend who has a friend..." you know how it goes. Well this certain veteran happens to run DopeLabs Radio which I thought was great because I got to ask him a bunch of questions about how he got started. He also runs another station which I cannot remember the name to right now... I'm hoping he will see this post and maybe put a comment up for us.


It seems like Shoutcast really is the way to go, so I'm downloading it now and going to install soon on a server at our data center (when I say our, I mean the one that my buddy and I run here). He actually does more of the physically "running" of the center, I'm more in the dev and sales area of our company.

I also thought that this MySpace profile, which I came across via a friend request from the person/bot, was very funny and entertaining. It's ok for work, but you probably can't view it anyhow, so I took a screen shot and placed it here (please take note of the comment which I placed a blue box around in the enlarged view by clicking below):

I suppose the only other thing that I really have to comment on is the fact that I have been making some major changes and large strides in my life lately. I think I sound like a fucking broken record honestly, but I guess there is something to be said for the fact that I really do keep trying. Not once have I ever stopped trying...

I've really had to put my life under the microscope again... it seems like I make these motions often. I know where I'm at in life, I know where I want to be, and I know how to get there now. It should be a great ride.

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, adventures in seattle, internet radio, thoughts

I've been working on my Internet consulting business, interviewing at Expedia.com and trying to figure out what to do with my life and I must say it's a bit stressful.

I took a look at being a helicopter pilot today... for $50,000 I can have 1-on-1 lessons at Paine Field, Everett, WA. This will get me a ton of certifications and other wonderful things to throw on a resume.

I guess I was thinking that I need a good 'ol trade that I wouldn't mind doing for the remainder of my life... you know... should all of my other plans fall through... as has been the case so far.

In other news, I've thought quite a bit more about the people that I surround myself with, and continue to surround myself with. I'm happy that I cut out some cancers in this area. So far everything seems to be moving on in a healthy fashion.

A buddy of mine named Brad decided to get ride of around five garbage bags full of clothes, many of them in almost new condition... Brad doesn't dress like a punk either, his clothes are nice. So I snatched those up (yes with permission) and just saved myself a bundle on buying new clothes for work... you know, for when I eventually get that job with Expedia.com....

Anyhow, that's it for now... I promise to post more often... and so does everyone else... right guys?


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, jobs, thoughts, web development

As most of you have probably already noticed, we have added a "Cluster Map" to the right hand side of the page indicating where our viewers are located around the world!!

Get excited tricks... this is the first step of many... in a long road of me hunting down all non-believers. That's right... soon you will all know the might and sheer ultimate will of Bisquick pancake mix....

...or something...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, cluster maps, enemesis

Well... the Rooster and I took a trip into Seattle yesterday to witness this controversy in action... this "High Maintenance Bitch."


Well, thanks to some help from my friend "Evil Z" over the phone with directions (no we were not smart enough to look up the address or directions before we left). I personally had convinced myself that "Wallingford isn't that big of a neighborhood..." and therefore wouldn't take long to completely search from top to bottom for this yuppie dog toy store.

On our way to the store Rooster found an awesome sign and took a picture, since he hasn't posted it yet I will post my camera phone quality version here:




Then we found the store, and I must say the sign actually does look very classy... I'm not sure how anyone could be offended by such a work of art:



...but suddenly... my new found zeal for the Wallingford neighborhood disappeared when I saw this couch, and a price tag of ... $999 all handmade by a designer down in LA:

Now I know what you are thinking... "Damnit, where in the fuck did your zeal go????!!!!??!??!?!" We'll I'll tell you where it went... it turned into a raging attraction for the creator of this store.

While I personally would never buy anything this expensive for any animal that I owned... I do know people who would.

Amazing... I think the girl running this store is a marketing genius and I think I might want to marry her.

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, adventures in seattle, bitch killa

I found this site while searching for a utility to download entire websites. It provides some options on the windows copy/move/delete functionality that aren't normally available.

Other than that... I'm working on a client's website that I won the deal for in a meeting I had on Friday. I'm also watching Bad Santa on TV... funny movie.


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, thoughts, web development

...that's right... I love 'em. I love blonde girls. I can't get enough of them, and honestly looking back at my "track record" of dating I don't know why I haven't dated more of them.

...and no, I'm not including the "fake ass blondes" or the weak bitches that like to throw blonde highlights in their obviously jet black hair.

Now, back to the replacement.... hah, that's right... YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT... fucking scoot...

Anyhow, I was on my way home and decided to stop for some coffee at my favorite spot when low and behold, the girl that I mentioned in a previous post (you can look at it by clicking the "source" link at the bottom of the page), was working tonight all by herself. A very rare situation...

So, we had a nice discussion and just as I was about to ask her out, some Dilbert showed up at the other drive through window. So I left... and on my way home, I became overwhelmed with a severe feeling of regret. I thought about turning my car around and going back to the coffee stand to get this girl's number... but I didn't... I just went home.

...where I promptly looked up the phone number for the coffee stand, called her, and got her phone number and her interest in me taking her out on a date in the near future.

"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis..." I got the number, and a date... and I didn't even have to waste more gas money and/or time to do it.

Eat your heart out...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, business is business, changes, hot girls, thoughts

I love tool... they are the best mother fucking band ever!!! EVER BITCHES, EVER!!! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?

Anyhow, so I'm listening to some music while I'm finishing up some web projects during my final days at work..... and I started thinking about life and stuff like that...

Then I thought about this hot girl at the local coffee stand that I think I"m going to ask out. Talk about a stick of TNT...

I think the coolest part is that she is into the same type of music that I am, and totally clued me in on the fact that Rage Against the Machine is getting back together for a limited time.

I'm fucking stoked...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, changes, coffee, rock and roll, thoughts

Cingular... fuck you. I paid my bill, then you shut me off 2 days later for non-pay, and here's where it gets really awesome, you take your online site down for the evening so I can't even pay my bill or review the balance to see why you think I need to be shut off.

Thanks, I will be cancelling my service as soon as I find a wireless company worth porting my number to. Oh yes, I WILL BE TAKING MY NUMBER YOU FAGGOT SHITHEAD COCK LICKERS.

Washington Mutual... fuck you too. I really think it's keen that you decided to stop sending me back my original cancelled checks... and decided to offer a service online where I can view them. Now if you could just actually fucking fix my online account, folks this thing has been broken for over 3 years with no resolution, then that might work out for me. Thanks for signing me up for your new service without asking, and without making sure that I actually have access to the Internet. I hope all of your banks catch fire and you go out of business. I will be closing my accounts very soon and moving over to BECU... because for some god forsaken reason it seems that airplane manufacturers treat their banking customers better than you, a bank, treats theirs... May you die of a perforated colon, caused by getting overly kinky with a homeless transvestite and a rusty metal pipe. Go to hell.


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, business is business, changes, reviews, stupid fuckers

...they tend to take everyone else down with them.

So, I know this guy... in fact I know him really well. In fact, the job he is working right now he has because I gave it to him.

Ya... I know this guy... and really it's unfortunate. This is really the only person that I know, that everyone else I know... hates. Nobody can stand this guy, and I recently realized that I'm just putting up with his manipulative bullshit for no reason.

He just got himself in some trouble at work, all becuase he was slacking off. Then he had the nerve to try and pull me into it by asking me to appear at a meeting that one of his bosses scheduled, to discuss his lack of work.

As it turns out, I had to meet with one of my recruiters that day, but even if I hadn't... he didn't give me the information I asked him for (in order to help save his ass) and when I wrote him a serious email after the fact, he tried to put it back on me calling it "bullshit" and saying that I should have had that talk with him in person.

Well buds, I've got just one more thing to say to you... "try being less manipulative, and less of a pushy prick, and people might just start having those coversations with you in person. I think what made you mad is that you didn't have the opportunity to try and manipulate me, or persuade me into another line of thought."

It must suck to have your entire family think you are on drugs, want to help you get off of them and then sabotage it and yourself by stopping the process. It must also really suck to have all of your "best friends" in life just cut you off like you are nobody.

Well my friend, the more drugs you do, the more you fuck people over and the more you keep trying to blame everyone else for the aftermath of your actions, the more people will push you away, not care about what happens to you, and let you fail when you need help the most.

Have a nice life... trick...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, business is business, changes, stupid fuckers, thoughts

Yeah, we all know those fuckers.. that type in UPPERCASE all the time over IM...



Or those really special fucktards that tYPE lIkE tHIs oR something... fucking ass pirates.



Here's to you johnny fuck-nose:

...thanks for nothing.

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, stupid fuckers

I was doing some thinking earlier today (because that's my pastime... fuck sports) and I'm stuck wondering what life is going to be like once I start treatment.

That's right, treatment... I unfortunately got into a bit of trouble on Halloween evening and so today I got to go pee in a cup and answer a bunch of questions in the hopes that what this guy decides that I do with my life, is not the same as what he thinks a crack head or someone with a serious drug and/or alcohol problem does with theirs...

But alas... if you know me then you already read the joke. It's in the paragraph above... if you don't know me personally... then let me help you out a bit... it's the part where I elude to the opinion that I don't have a serious problem....

Heh, that might just be the best joke I've heard all week....

Ok door... you are open now, so I need for you to stay open until I walk through the threshold... then please shut yourself and hold me in with all of your might... it's going to be a rough ride...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, growth, new years resolution, thoughts

I found a really cool blog by this person that likes to share information about web development. Check out the source link below, which links to one article about CSS techniques. You'll find other articles as well, such as the one that took me to the site about free fonts that you should definitely download.

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, web development

So, I was checking out the website on the Safari browser (Apple's version of Internet Explorer), and it looks like the menu on the right doesn't actually fit over the image as it should.

That's kind of depressing.

On the lighter side of things, our readers will notice that our writers have been posting more frequently this month.

I'm hoping we can keep it up as a collective as I really enjoy reading what other people have to say... (I mean lets be real here, I can only really pretend to be somewhat excited about reading my own material so much... after that it just comes off as fake... nobody likes a fake trick, not even me)

In other news, I need to quit smoking cigarettes. I nearly coughed up my left lung today, and I can't say I like it much at all. I told the devil that I would trade my self respect for a new pair of lungs... he told me that you can't pimp a pimp, and that when I was ready to trade something I actually had, he might be ready to listen...

Talk about a downer... I really thought I was going to con his ass over...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, thoughts

So this morning, I was woken up by a phone call from my friend with the hurt knee. I am at this time an hour late for being at her house. I hop out of bed to get ready and immediately stub my small toe on my right foot.

Man, that shit fucking hurt so bad that I almost punched myself in the neck to take my mind off of the pain. Needless to say I was very awake at this point from the intense throbbing in my foot.

I continue getting ready and hit the road. I arrive at my friend's house, help her get down to my car and right as she gets into the car and shuts the door the window on drivers side falls into the door about halfway. I pull the window out, prop it up and we head out to the doctor. On the way there, while driving, the window falls again... this time all the way into the door. I couldn't grab it while I was driving, and I couldn't really do shit about it once it happened.

This was followed by the other window falling into the door right before we arrived at the doctor.

What in the fuck is going on? Why is my life literally falling apart one piece at a time?

Oh just fuck it all I suppose....


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, car

A very good friend of mine hurt her knee while snowboarding today. Because of that, she cannot get around very well and is at risk of missing the Seahawks game tomorrow @ 10:00 AM PST.

It's going to be good times driving around on the ice tomorrow between Everett and Lynnwood, and who knows, with any luck I'll get to drive her to the hospital or doctor too! 8^) I love driving in the snow and ice in my GTI, in case you couldn't tell.

If you are asking yourself why I posted this right now, it's because I wanted to end the round of posting on a good note. If you think that makes me weak, you can go fuck yourself.

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, current events, thoughts

I decided that I have to post about my extremely negative experience at Regal Cinemas Everett Mall Stadium 16.

I went to a movie last night, Alpha Dog, and while the movie itself was fair, the experience at the theater was definitely poor.

I will definitely take the blame for showing up late, and being forced to sit in the second row. I will even take the blame for allowing my eyes to be much larger than my stomach when I ordered the extra large tub of your super dry, almost stale, popcorn.

I had to stay on top of your 13 year old cashier when he attempted to fill my cup to the brim with ice. Look you little fuck, I don't even let bad ass bartenders get away with that queer shit. Try it again, I fucking dare you.. I'm just looking for an excuse to punch someone in the neck.

I will definitely have to admit, that above all else you really took the cake when you told my friend that she could re-enter when she asked if she could go to her car to get aspirin and then refused to let her back in when she returned. I really have to say, that takes balls. Even I don't have the nuts for that.

Now to all of my loyal readers, and anyone else who might stumble across this article when searching for reviews: Do NOT visit the Everett Mall Theater which is run by Regal Cinemas. The popcorn is dry and overpriced, the soda flat, and the service is by far the worst I have ever seen.


Thanks,

-link

Labels: adventures in everett, food, Regal Cinemas, reviews, thoughts

Often I find that my friends ask me what it is that I am doing. Occasionally, if the situation and maybe even the magic in the air is right... I can respond with this catchy phrase:

"I'm Housin."

"Well what's that? I don't understand..."

"Well sweet child, housin' is by definition the best thing you can do with your life. Quick, read here before you waste another moment!!!"

Also, for those who are interested... the term was coined in this song: I'm Housin

Ahh yes, now let me tell you about how I was "housin" today.

It's no secret, I live in Everett, WA and we had a mild snow/wind storm last night. I say mild compared to the storms we had earlier this year as this storm was nowhere near the magnitude of the last occurrence.

Moving forward... I decided to leave the house to mail a bill and grab another coffee. Upon returning to my street, which was at the time covered in ice, I see a little child in his yard. I'm going to guess and say that by the kid's size that he was probably about four or so.

I decided to show off for this kid, so I start to play around with the e-brake to cause some sliding over the ice. Now normally this wouldn't have been an issue, but given that I had a coffee in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and I was driving the car with my penis... I lost control of the car. Long story short, I ended up in this poor kid's neighbor's front lawn.

As soon as I can subdue my laughter, I realize that I've probably caused some damage to the "previously lovely" plants in this person's front yard. I put my coffee in the holder, ditch the cigarette out the window (hell yeah teach by example mother fuckers!!!), stop exposing myself to my steering wheel and I back out of this person's lawn planter area in front of their lawn.

I continue laughing and driving home and arrive in a record 2 seconds as my house is only about 3 or 4 houses down from where this incident took place. I am welcomed by a group of older kids running around with air pellet guns and shooting each other all while managing to stay in the exact area that I have a strong desire to park my car in.

As I get closer to the driveway, the children scatter. I'm guessing one of two things happened here... the children were either taught by their parents to respect other people's property (which I'm thinking isn't likely in this day and age), or they saw my stunt up the street which left no doubt in their little minds that I could and would take them out in half a heartbeat if needed or maybe even for sport.

Either way they made the right choice and bloodshed was once avoided once more.


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, car, weather

Do you ever just sit and wonder where you would be right now had you made just one or maybe a series of decisions differently? Of course you have, everyone does. Everyone thinks about this kind of stuff at least up to the point where your mind starts to fill in the blanks... where you start thinking about how things would be now.

This is where I think there are two distinct differences in the way that people approach this subject:

• People who aren't afraid to think about this stuff and let their mind wander a bit
• Fucking poser bitches that like to cut you off and tell you shit like "well you can't change it now..."

..."right, how about you just run and go fuck yourself followed with a wonderfully prepared jig of get the fuck lost.. homo ass trick"

Note: If you would like to complain about my use of the word "homo" above, you can go fuck yourself. Nobody cares about what you think, and if they did you would have a website like me that you could go take out your shitty aggression on. The fact that you don't means that you suck on shitty anus for fun.

Anyhow, back to my daydreaming...

I have to begin a trek of bullshit ass change tomorrow... and I don't really mind saying that I'm not happy about it at all.

In fact I'm so fucking mad about it that I'm at the point where I would undo at least one major event in my recent past which is not directly related to my pain over this specific issue, but it definitely put me in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So, in short... fuck shitty bitches. But really even more than that, fuck people who can't make up their mind.

Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, thoughts

...ahh, the great hangover.

I'm not just talking about any hangover here either, I'm talking about the realization that you've been wasting your life for the past 5 years and you have absolutely nothing to show for it. I can honestly say that the only part alcohol played in this hangover is maybe the destruction of about five to eight years of my life.

It gets worse...

Not only do you have nothing to show for it, you are actually worse off than when you started and oh yes... so is your family. That family home you fought so hard to keep, slowly disappearing. Your sister.... living with some guy ten years older than her, doing hard drugs, throwing away her life. Just throwing it away, burn it like it's money for god sakes.

It's enough to make you shed a tear or two...

...and so goes life, until we die I guess. I just don't remember anyone ever telling or preparing me for a life of complete and utter worthlessness topped off with a daily dose of disappointment. I just really believed that it was supposed to be better than this, that I was going to amount to something and that when I saw my family on the holidays I wouldn't be asking myself if this was the last time, each of them for a different reason.....

I sold my hope last week because I felt like it kept dragging me through the mud I had already lived in. I would kill to have it back now.

"...and so here you are, holding onto a fixed object in a room filling with water. If you let go of the object you die, if you don't let go you drown. What do you do son?" Trapped... like the Rats of Nimh. Fuck, I thought that was just supposed to be a story!

Would you hold up the building that represented your life even if the bricks falling off of it threatened to kill you? Well you certainly can't run away, I mean fuck the curiousity alone would torment you into insanity for sure.

Apparently though... all of this pain here... well it's just an illusion.... Maynard James Keenan told me so...


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, thoughts

I was thinking today, mostly about how my life is rather uneventful and quiet now that I'm on my own again. During my course of thought, I started wondering if I could remove everything from my life that I had grown tired of or annoyed with.

I decided to start with a list:

• Liars
• Scammers
• People with constant excuses
• People who manipulate all the time
• People who won't just shut the fuck up
• People who send me stupid emails
• People who think it's cute to cause havoc in your life for fun
• Selfish people
• People who wish to place their dick in my ass
• People who think that it's funny to talk shit behind my back but not to my face
• People who break my shit and then lie to me about it
• The spilling of bong water that leads to the ruining of a nightstand
• Animals that would rather shit on me while I am sleeping than wake me up to be let out, or fuck, even just shitting on the floor

OK, that's a long enough list. Maybe later I'll make a list of things that I cherish having in my life, or maybe not... stop trying to fucking control me you ass!!!!!!!!


-link

Labels: adventures in everett, growth, thoughts