I just have to talk about this, because it's new for me and I'm not sure if I have some weird condition or syndrome...

I stumbled across the source link below (Audi.com) and instantly had to know more.

So I found:

• Audi World
• Jalopnik
• Wikipedia
• Audi
• Google Image Search

I know there will be a day in the future where I can afford something like this, a dream car if you will. Right now I can only dream, and know that all the haters that say I can't and won't, definitely won't get a ride from me when they are waiting for the bus. Trick ass mother fuckers...

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Labels: car, cool shit, thoughts

I saw this on Digg and just had to replicate it...

Check the source link below.


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Labels: car, cool shit

Well, I ended up picking up that Magellan RoadMate 800 over the weekend for a stellar $155 out the door, thanks Brian!!

So far, I have absolutely no complaints! The device works great, the cradle/window mount is well designed and the software is very intuitive. Also, I noticed that it's great at re-calculating routes on the fly, doesn't take long at all.

I entered a couple of addresses that I already knew my way to right after I picked up the device, just so I could see how it worked. Later in the day I had the chance to enter an address that I actually had never been to and didn't really know the surrounding area of that well either.

This was a newer housing development, and much to my surprise, the device not only guided me right to the front of the house, but it also told me which way to turn my head as I was rolling down the street so that I could see the house. Effectively the device took me to the doorstep of my intended location.

Nothing but 5/5 rating for this device from me.

Oh I almost forgot, this thing is so fucking cool that I can literally type in "Starbucks" in the points of interest field, and it will give me a list of Starbucks within the radius that I specify and then I can just pick on and go. How fucking insane is that?


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Labels: bitch killa, car, gps, reviews

It's no big secret... I used to work for AT&T Wireless, which was purchased by Cingular Wireless which is now part of AT&T again.... weird...

I guess the owner of this car was really confused by the whole situation:

This took place behind the very call center that I started working for AT&T Wireless in, also known to employees and alumni as "Bothell 2" hence the pictures show the "Bothell 2 parking lot." Go figure....

Anyhow, many thanks to the owner/driver of this car for crashing it and allowing all of our readers to amuse themselves for a few minutes.

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Labels: adventures in bothell, bitch killa, car, stupid fuckers

So this morning, I was woken up by a phone call from my friend with the hurt knee. I am at this time an hour late for being at her house. I hop out of bed to get ready and immediately stub my small toe on my right foot.

Man, that shit fucking hurt so bad that I almost punched myself in the neck to take my mind off of the pain. Needless to say I was very awake at this point from the intense throbbing in my foot.

I continue getting ready and hit the road. I arrive at my friend's house, help her get down to my car and right as she gets into the car and shuts the door the window on drivers side falls into the door about halfway. I pull the window out, prop it up and we head out to the doctor. On the way there, while driving, the window falls again... this time all the way into the door. I couldn't grab it while I was driving, and I couldn't really do shit about it once it happened.

This was followed by the other window falling into the door right before we arrived at the doctor.

What in the fuck is going on? Why is my life literally falling apart one piece at a time?

Oh just fuck it all I suppose....


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Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, car

...yes you heard me right. That was full blown sarcasm.

On my way to my friend's house today, I tried to roll down both of my windows. Since they were still frozen shut even though everything else had the snow melted off (back window, front window, moon roof...), they stuck in place.

The motors however, did not... in fact they kept trying to run long after the clips broke off of the window regulators. It's a great sound really, one that I will never forget. The clip breaks, the motor spins (pulling the part that holds the window, those clips, out of alignment), and the window stays in place (for now) until the snow melts and then the windows will probably fall down into the door.

Just like the passenger window did the first time the clips broke, during an all employee meeting for AT&T Wireless years ago...

Oh well.. at least this part is still covered on my Volkswagen warranty. I'll be contacting the dealership on Monday to have these fixed. Great.. like I have all the free time in the world to waste on this.

Yeah... well... have fun reading...


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Labels: adventures in bothell, bitch killa, car, thoughts, weather

Often I find that my friends ask me what it is that I am doing. Occasionally, if the situation and maybe even the magic in the air is right... I can respond with this catchy phrase:

"I'm Housin."

"Well what's that? I don't understand..."

"Well sweet child, housin' is by definition the best thing you can do with your life. Quick, read here before you waste another moment!!!"

Also, for those who are interested... the term was coined in this song: I'm Housin

Ahh yes, now let me tell you about how I was "housin" today.

It's no secret, I live in Everett, WA and we had a mild snow/wind storm last night. I say mild compared to the storms we had earlier this year as this storm was nowhere near the magnitude of the last occurrence.

Moving forward... I decided to leave the house to mail a bill and grab another coffee. Upon returning to my street, which was at the time covered in ice, I see a little child in his yard. I'm going to guess and say that by the kid's size that he was probably about four or so.

I decided to show off for this kid, so I start to play around with the e-brake to cause some sliding over the ice. Now normally this wouldn't have been an issue, but given that I had a coffee in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and I was driving the car with my penis... I lost control of the car. Long story short, I ended up in this poor kid's neighbor's front lawn.

As soon as I can subdue my laughter, I realize that I've probably caused some damage to the "previously lovely" plants in this person's front yard. I put my coffee in the holder, ditch the cigarette out the window (hell yeah teach by example mother fuckers!!!), stop exposing myself to my steering wheel and I back out of this person's lawn planter area in front of their lawn.

I continue laughing and driving home and arrive in a record 2 seconds as my house is only about 3 or 4 houses down from where this incident took place. I am welcomed by a group of older kids running around with air pellet guns and shooting each other all while managing to stay in the exact area that I have a strong desire to park my car in.

As I get closer to the driveway, the children scatter. I'm guessing one of two things happened here... the children were either taught by their parents to respect other people's property (which I'm thinking isn't likely in this day and age), or they saw my stunt up the street which left no doubt in their little minds that I could and would take them out in half a heartbeat if needed or maybe even for sport.

Either way they made the right choice and bloodshed was once avoided once more.


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Labels: adventures in everett, bitch killa, car, weather

UHHHHHHHHH... the one with the nappy ass hair... UHHHHHHHHH....

So one of my very cool friends got me a couple of bad ass bumper stickers for Christmas that say no more than "Bitch Killa" in straight up Old English lettering. I LOVE THEM!!!

I promptly installed one in my back hatch window on the GTI, the other in the drivers side back seat window. Now everyone will know that I'm that scary ass "bitch killa" they need to make sure they don't get caught slippin around:

Well there you have it, and now for the story behind the phrase "bitch killa" for your holiday enjoyment (I like to tell this story to the children when it gets close to Christmas, I feel that it really demonstrates creative and moral family values):

So one day my buddy Adam and I are going to 3 Pigs Barbeque (click for the CitySearch.com review page) for lunch and he starts telling me about this awesome deal he got on a house he just purchased. The deal was in fact so awesome that he was able to pull a large amount of money out of the equity in order to get other things done around the house and in his family's personal lives.

So we start talking about buying one of those platinum grills that clip into your mouth (you know, the ones the gangstas have) and he starts saying "oh yeah, then I I'll also be rockin the tattoo on my neck, you know 'BITCH KILLA' and shit. Just go up to bitches and pull down the neck of my shirt, just all 'UHHHHHHH!!!! BITCH KILLA!!!!!"

Now I know from prior experience in telling this story, that it's kind of a "you had to be there" anecdote. If it isn't one it's definitely in the running, and well.... knowing that, I have found that the following information might help you understand why it would be hilarious for my buddy Adam to have "BITCH KILLA" tattooed on his neck (aside from all of the obvious reasons).

1. Adam has two children
2. Adam is happily married
3. Adam is from mostly rural Georgia (that's right, I said RURAL, which is almost as cool of a word as 'FERAL' which definitely has absolutely nothing to do with this story)
4. Adam is a really nice guy

So yeah, that shit made me laugh so hard that I told the story over and over again, and that resulted in me receiving these bad ass stickers (pictured above) for Christmas.

Feel free to let me know what you think about my new stickers by emailing me here....

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On another note, do you ever see other people's children and just want to put the fear of god in them when you see them misbehaving? Like for instance right now I'm watching MAD TV, and while I know it's not real, and that this character "Stuart" is also pretty far from any sort of valid reality, but I can't help but feel this desire to punch him right in his fucking neck and then watch his feeling of safety shatter, his confidence implode and cumble upon itself and fear completely consume him. Then he will be useful and responsive to direction. If you are reading this on the website, then you can clearly see that I am ten ninjas.

Labels: bitch killa, car, christmas