....to get me to post again. Something either really awesome and kick-ass or on the converse... something just utterly shitty.

I suppose as far as "being shitty" goes, this would be on the lighter end as it turns out better than it could have... but, it was still shitty.

So, I guess it's on with the show:

...all of the sudden we were in the car. I wasn't really sure how I got there, especially in the passenger seat with my mom driving. I certainly don't mind riding shotgun with my mom driving (not that I would ever admit if I did), but things felt odd this time for some reason. I suppose it could have to do with the fact that my mom actually lives 1,447 mi – about 23 hours 44 mins away from me now, but who really knows...

Something came onto the radio, and my mom was either upset about what she heard on the radio, or perhaps I made a comment about the commentary which she didn't agree with or like very much. My bad.

She looked down and then off to the left out of the driver's side window, at which point I looked out the front of the car through the windshield and saw that we were heading straight for the end of some kind of pier/dock like structure.

I realize quickly that at our current speed it will be mere seconds before we are IN the water. I yell "mom watch out!!" and try to grab for the wheel so I can turn it hard to the right and hopefully give us a rough, but safe escape from this crazy ass watery grave in front of us.... I was too late. We drove right off of the end of this pier and we hit the water going pretty fast. The impact felt so hard, but with my heart pumping so hard and adrenaline coursing through my veins, all I could do was wait for the water.

What seemed like almost no time later at all, the water was rushing into the car pretty fast. I knew I needed to break the window or we were going to be fucked. I needed to equalize the pressure so we could open the door and get out. I attempt to go into action, but I can barely move. The freezing cold water has completely robbed me of all of my energy and it was all I could do to even lift up my arm. I was stuck.

I looked to my mom. I say "to" because my "plan" was to look at her for some direction on what to do. All I could see was terror in her face. She was so terrified that she had shut down. I felt without control, more helpless than I have ever felt, and like a failure because I couldn't save my mom.

Then I woke up.

Yes, I woke up @ around 4:45 AM PST yesterday (Thursday morning) and my heart was beating so fast because my mind thought the dream was real that I had to go smoke a cig just to calm back down enough to close my eyes and lie still.

What a shitty nightmare... which really wasn't very fresh to death at all....


...and now I want some fucking awesome "welcome back" comments! So fucking get to it!


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Labels: adventures in kenmore, fresh to death, thoughts

I'm constantly amused by the ads I run into on Facebook and MySpace which are clearly targeted at single males in their 20's:

My favorite part is the heading: "Want a Christian Girl?"

Hah! Who in the fuck doesn't want a girl who looks like that REGARDLESS of what religion she practices?

Let's review the obvious:

Would I compromise my belief structure to have her for a girlfriend? No.

Is the reality of the situation in fact that I do not have any actual belief structure which would be compromised by my obtaining control of the above pictured woman's joy box and using it for my own selfish purposes? Yes.

Are you laughing your ass off at my clever and very "over the line" use of "obtaining control of the pictured girl's joy box" as though it were a politically advantageous location to possess, whereby you have, or are about to, wet and/or soil yourself? You had better be, otherwise I fear I may have just sold my dignity for a giggle.

-link

Labels: funny shit, hot girls, thoughts

...was hard. It is still Christmas for another two hours.. and I keep walking around my grandparent's house and just looking at things. Looking at pictures of my grandpa, from when he was younger, all the way up until recently.

It's hard to even type it out... it causes me to well up just looking at anything that reminds me of him. I feel like a complete mess. I miss you so much grandpa. I miss you so much.

If you are watching, then you know that I'm already trying to do right by you and take care of grandma. I talked to her today, we decided that I should move in and help out. My aunt is to stressed out with everything going on, my cousin who is living here is also stressed.

If there is one thing that I have been able to do throughout my life, it is to be the drop that starts the ripple effect. I have never had an issue with being the first to show everyone else how.... now I will show them how to work together to help someone they love. Because I cannot watch this fighting continue. I refuse.

I have to learn something new every day, mainly because you told me to grandpa, but also because what you told me is right on more levels than I can explain. I have to continue expanding my mind and moving forward.

I'm so upset that you aren't here, not with you, but with myself... for not spending more time with you at the end.

Today...
Today I learned that life is a constant battle... One after another. The sooner you understand it and start fighting, the sooner you can start winning some battles instead of losing them all.

I will start fighting again.


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Labels: thoughts

So, I just found out on Monday that my wonderful Grandfather passed away in his sleep on Sunday night. He was 83 and died from complications due to lung cancer.

I found out via email. I received an email from my mom, and the subject line said only "Marvin." I knew instantly what was inside the email, and even though I didn't want to read it, nor did I want to go through the emotional roller coaster that I knew I had just received a ticket for.... but I did. I cut to the front of the line, gave the crazy carnie my ticket and then I got on the ride and DID NOT fasten my seat belt. A part of me wanted to feel it entirely... and if you know me, you know that I don't like to fell anything entirely. I sample emotions and feelings, then I drown them out with something, then I move forward.

There is no part of me that wants to drown this out, or move forward, or forget about how awful it is to feel someone go....

I'm upset. I'm furious. I'm sad. I want to cry. I don't want to cry. All at the same time.

I feel broken and alone one moment, and then the very next completely strong and ready to make sure that my Grandpa gets a really great show now that he has a front row seat to my life from heaven.

Then there is that.... just the idea that he is watching me from up above.. it makes me think about my life and how I conduct it... and really I guess it has also opened my eyes to the fact that I can be a pretty private, closed and sometimes even shady person when the right circumstances are present.

It has definitely given me the opportunity to think about what I would like to be able to look back on when I get older and retire. Specifically, it has caused me to focus on what I can do to improve my situation, but more importantly, how I can make sure that the way I conduct myself improves instantly so that working on the remainder of my life isn't something that I'm so ashamed of (something I guess I really hadn't realized completely until I had this lingering feeling that someone I respect greatly might actually be able to see what I do and how I act....)

I'm sure this probably sounds just completely insane to some of you, and to others perhaps a bit too familiar... either way, I plan to use this motivation to grow and overcome many if not all of my current demons, regardless of how healthy or un-healthy anyone else thinks it might be to believe in the idea of an afterlife for my loved ones, and that the afterlife I choose to believe in is strongly connected to "real life" in a "highway to heaven" sort of way.

Well... here's to life and death.. and the sanity and insanity that comes along with the experience. I have a single source of relief on this subject in that my Grandpa is no longer in pain. He no longer has to lie in bed day in and day out in extreme pain, a pain so horrible that it hurts to just lie there, it hurts to talk... fuck... it hurts to exist. I am happy that my Grandpa is no longer in pain, and that he was able to live a full life, and that the last time I spoke to him it was a great talk, and that he told me he loved me, and that he also let me know that out of everyone in my family that he knows he doesn't have to worry about me.

Thank you Grandpa. Thank you very much for taking all the time that you did in my life to show me how to live properly, how to be a man, how to take accountability for what I have done, but more so how to approach life with a perspective that won't get me in trouble, that will allow me to succeed. If not for you Grandpa, I would not have a great job like I have now, I would not be into computers, nor would I care about work and having good work ethic. I know our paths kind of grew apart in recent years, mainly because I've been so busy (something that I regret allowing to happen now...), but you always let me know that you found happiness in knowing that I was doing well, and you always sacrificed your time with me so that I might work harder towards the goals I have set for myself in life.

The bottom line here, and why I know I feel so empty at the mere thought of you being gone, is the time you invested in me. You didn't have to do any of that. You didn't have to demand that my mom let me come stay with you and Grandma when I was 4. You didn't have to open your door to me when my mom and I were fighting so bad that she threw me out @ 15. You didn't have to waste a single moment thinking about me, but you did. You invested many moments, many cherished and wonderful moments that I will never forget in me. You taught me everything I know, and even some that I wanted to forget... but I haven't, because it was something that came from you.

Every serious choice I make in my life gives me a chance to ask myself "what would Grandpa do here?" and I can honestly say that compass has led me through some very stormy seas with a tender hug and stern words. Every decision in my life involves you on some level. You taught me how to speak to people, how to sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo, how to care for those closest to me without allowing them to pull me into the hole that they are in, how to know when to draw the line and when to erase it because perhaps I've gone too far. You taught me how to evaluate whether or not I am wrong, and that it's not always about what I want, and that when I work hard for something I can not only achieve it but I can enjoy it.

You told me what to expect in life and why I should feel secure about who I am, and where I came from. You taught me to believe in myself, and that even though I am related to some "interesting" people, it in no way defines or controls how I choose to live life, nor does it define how good I can feel about my accomplishments. You taught me that if anything it's a badge of honor, a sign of success after struggle, of composure after chaos, of sunshine after rain. You taught me how to let the sun shine on the inside before I let it shine on the outside.

You taught me how to be me. Thank you so much for everything Grandpa, I will always love you and I already miss you. I'm so glad that you aren't in pain anymore though, and in a way knowing that you are in a better place lets me breath a little deeper, think a little harder and work a little smarter at this game we call life.

Well, pull up a chair old friend, let's play a game of rummy, drink some coffee and then you can watch the show, which you invested so much time and energy in, called... my life. My only goal now is to ensure that the tickets were more than worth every drop of blood, sweat and tears that you were able to give to me. Thank you again Grandpa for caring. Thank you for not just writing me off as a lost cause simply because of who my parents were. Thank you for seeing through the anger, frustration and loss of composure that was my childhood and taking the time to wipe the darkness away so that I was able to see the light. Thank you for saving me.


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Labels: adventures in kenmore, adventures in seattle, current events, thoughts

....for anyone foolish enough to attempt to steal them.

I was in the mood for a good laugh today, actually I was "in need" of a good laugh today. So, I checked out the page which is also available at the source link below and did some reading from "Simon's good ideas for websites" where he clearly states "do not copy these ideas as they are mine."

HAH! You show them Simon, clearly nobody will be able to thwart your rock-solid attempt to retain your intellectual property (and by "rock-solid" I definitely mean "pitiful and clearly destined to fail before anyone was even able to visit the website"). But really, these are fucking funny!

Here are a few of my favorites (remember, this is not my creation, property, original thoughts, or even refined thoughts... these are "Simon's" thoughts, and as such all positive and encouraging feedback should be directed to him via visiting the source link below. If you find this disclaimer hard to read, then good, it means that I have done my job correctly):

deceasedlovedones.com
This would be a website where you pay a fee to join and are given your own web page with an empty blog. In the event of your death, you can use the page to write a message to your loved ones. Similar setup to prepaid funerals. Your loved ones can either log on and check whether you have left a message for them or can opt to receive an email notifying them when you leave a message.

whereaboutsami.com
This would be a website where users can write the name of the city and street they are on and I would tell them where they are.

uploadyourscreen.com
A website where the user takes a screenshot of their computer screen and uploads it so that when they are looking at porn and the boss walks past they can type in the link and go to it instead.

Aren't these just fucking awesome?!?!?!?! I don't know about you, but I definitely would find some good use in having a "preset" blog where I could just write my loved ones a note after I die while I'm on my way to the pearly gates and all of that...

Heh, that is kind of a big assumption... maybe I should just say "on my way to the next level..." as though this were all just a video game. I'll have to remember to bring my +7 Ass Kicker. If you are wondering what that is, it's basically a shoe.... with a steel toe (that's where the whole +7 comes in).


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Labels: adventures in kenmore, funny shit, thoughts

...and what it is... is frustrating...

I guess we don't always get to control how our interactions with our friends and family go, nor do we get to control the interactions with our co-workers.

I'm OK with that, really, but I do have to admit that it was a bit rough finding out the results of my "mid-year performance review" on my current team from the boss of my "new team" or rather the team that I am preparing to migrate over to.

One thing that I am thankful for is that my new manager definitely seems to be a straight shooter when it comes to discussing work, possible areas of improvement, disappointments, etc.

I've really only spoken with him twice so far, but he has given me no reason to think anything else in that he seems to be very consistent in how he delivers information and also with how he speaks. I have a feeling I will learn quite a bit from him which I'm very excited about.

I guess everything related to this move to the new team, which is basically the "future" of my career, is great. I have no worries, I'm not upset, in fact I'm very happy about the opportunity to narrow my focus to one subject (the Active Directory) as opposed to trying to pick up a little AD here, Outlook there, Exchange Server when I'm done with that and then let's talk about mailbox structure next, and how about we step right into Internet Mail Transport if there is any more room on our plate... and that's just this meal... wait until we get to dessert!!

But seriously, the team I am currently on deals with messaging at a very large corporation. Messaging is "defined" as really anything that interfaces with email or the mailbox on the Exchange server (there are some "bolt-on" services such as Unified Communications/Unified Messaging which involves integration of a user's desk-phone with their Exchange mailbox (something that was traditionally managed via a PBX system and a Voicemail server before this feature set came out)....

...as you can see, I have barely scratched the surface of what "messaging" actually is and I'm fast approaching the "reasonable limit" of what one person can be expected to learn, repeat, get better at, improve upon, become an expert at, etc...

So the narrowing of my "focus" will be great.

What I'm not super happy about are some of the other things that have happened since I started this job, most of which are just bottom-line my fault for not being a better communicator, or allowing myself to get super anxious and have random attacks of insomnia... but really, how do you control something like that? I guess I'm learning...

I suppose some of it is about growing up, and becoming a more mature adult.... but some of the events that I am experiencing are new to me... this is the first time that I have experienced them... and while I know I would be a fool to think or say that by the age of 21 I should have experienced almost every feeling on some level, and that anything past 21 is really just an expansion or iteration of something I've already been through... if that were the case then why live past 21 right? Life would be pretty boring... so I suppose that really becoming a more mature individual also encompasses the idea of, or actually the ability to run into new experiences and not let them "cripple" you emotionally or have a devastating effect/outcome on the remainder of your life....

I also suppose that really when it comes down to it, I do have a serious issue with pro-actively communicating with the people around me about things that are either coming up or ongoing in my life. I mean, not everything really needs to be put out on the table... this I know, but when it has an effect on my peers or my manager, then it definitely makes sense for me to say something... write something... basically do something to ensure that everyone else is prepared... and that's what I'm not doing.

I don't really think that I've ever been an "expert" communicator, but I do feel that I was at least a little better at it... so I started thinking about how this happened... how I slowly started turning into a recluse, and really trying to pinpoint when I made the change from someone who felt that being organized and prepared was the best way to approach life to someone who feels that they don't really need to "prepare" for anything, and that however I decide to leave things is how I organize them (a total cop out)... and that I should just be able to handle anything that comes at me without preparation, and that the outcome of any event when I take this approach is the "real" outcome rather than the "tampered with" or "cheated to win" outcome that comes from actually taking time to prepare...

What a fucking joke... talk about the ultimate justification for a procrastinator to continue procrastinating... talk about the ultimate setup for failure at life...

Man... fuck this noise. It's not "time for a change" or anything simple like that... it's "time for a fucking carpet bombing and leveling of this horrible 'idea-town' which I call my current outlook and approach to life..."

Time for a metaphorical trip to the 'mental-slaughterhouse' where this 'lazy pig' brain of mine is going to get the bacon cut off of it and then have the piss beat out of it on the way to becoming a nice collection of pork-chops.


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Labels: a day in the life of, adventures in redmond, changes, thoughts

....anytime I'm at work.

I'm tired of letting everyone have a fucking express lane into my life at any moment they want. Fuck that noise...


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Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

...messing with people's heads.

I'm sure most of you have already seen this one since it has been going around like a viral video lately...

Check out the source link below for a little chuckle... if you don't think it's funny, then you shouldn't be reading my blog...


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Labels: current events, funny shit, thoughts, world news

...for anyone that likes to drive fast...

My co-worker sent this to me, and it had me thinking... "if only they had been driving a German car...."


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Labels: current events, thoughts, world news

... in other news...

I had a crazy dream either last night or the night before, I can't really remember when... just more that it popped into my head today and I was able to recall "oh, that's from a dream I had..."

Anyhow...

So I'm in my car, just driving along... and for some reason I go to stop, my foot hits the floor, then I go to the e-brake, and that pulls up like it's just for show...

WTF?

I remember feeling pretty terrified that I was looking down at this e-brake that didn't work... but I think it may have scared me enough to actually wake up.

I'm pretty sure I know what that's about.... kind of creepy though....


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Labels: thoughts

...hah! Sorry, that was some laughing left over from my expedition to the site in the "source" link below.

An old friend from high school sent me this link a few days ago and I just came across it (horrible at checking my personal email). I did promise that I would give him some props on here, but it just occurred to me that I probably shouldn't type out his full name which is Chris Lobkovich.... oh fuck...

Well at didn't tell them that your phone number is... oh phew... almost fucked up again...

Hah!!! Sorry bro!


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Labels: funny shit, hot girls, thoughts

....to only date girls who are of an Asian descent.

You can check out the source link below, and I think that should "close the deal" for most of you. But if that doesn't do it, then click the link anyhow, use some of the pics as your desktop background... and I feel like after about 48 hours of staring at the super hot Asian chick, you will then realize AND agree with my decision to date Asian only.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking... probably something along the lines of "try getting a dick that's not the size of a toothpick and you might be able to fuck a girl who isn't super tiny and you might experience what we call "sex you can feel"....

To that I say "fuck you, your eye socket is next on my list..." u know, that's what I would say if someone was actually talking shit... not that they are, but in my game I'm always ready for some sucka to get caught slippin....


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Labels: adventures in kenmore, hot girls, thoughts

I was almost done, almost all the way out... and then I get pulled over Thursday night on my way home. Turns out the computer says that my license is suspended. Awesome.

So, turns out I still owe Bothell Municipal Courts $277.00. After paying that yesterday I go over to the DOL to "un-suspend" my license, which they do. They then inform me that a "replacement" license will be $250 for me.

Two hundred and fifty fucking dollars for a license without a hole in it.

I cannot even fucking believe this shit. Now I get to go fuck around all over again....

I'm very disappointed.


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Labels: adventures in kenmore, stupid fuckers, thoughts

Yeah, I know.. it has definitely been a busy day here @ eNemesis, but I'm going to go ahead and bank on the fact that I know my readers are totally appreciating this.

In fact, I've already received more than a few emails which are encouraging to say the least! Oh, and thank you ladies for the pictures as well. 8^)

That said, check out the source link below if you want a good/quick read about how to "dissect a bully" which is exactly what it sounds like, but they do mean mentally vs. physically (nobody here is going to cut someone up... especially if they are just a piece of shit bully).

This link came from Mink originally (thanks bro!) and in true "pay it forward" fashion it has now been replicated to eNemesis for your viewing pleasure (just leave some extra change on the counter when you leave... heh...).

Oh also, if you get bored with reading, you should then check out this site: Alexia Lei

This girl reminds me of someone I used to date (the Asian/American mix that is, my ex girlfriend was way more hot than this girl... ), but more importantly reminds me of a decision that I recently made about the type of lady that I want to date going forward. More on that some other time...


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P.S.- I think it's really awesome that "eNemesis" triggers a suggestion of "enema" in most spell checking software.

Labels: hot girls, thoughts

...then you too would be able to save the mother fucking day with a paper-clip, piece of gum and some duct tape. That's right bitch, duct tape.

Check out the "source" link below for a blast from the past. That's right trick nasty, MacGyver, online from CBS.com (eh eh eh... I don't even want to hear it. I know MacGyver wears high-tops, Michael Jackson style high-waters, and a pseudo mullet... but that all just goes to show how truly confident he is. That and the fact that he doesn't EVER need a gun.)

So just shut up and take it mo-fo, because no tang is as good as the MacGyver tang that I'm about to serve you up with right hear now... ya' heard? Actually not true, there is some tang that is better, but I'll be damned if I tell anyone where to find that diamond... that's right pink cookie, u know who I'm talking about.


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Clicky Tricky!

P.S.- "adventures in Canada" is used as a label for this post because MacGyver was mostly filmed in Canadia.... that's right, Can-a-dia... damn Labat's Blue drinking, swill eating tricks...

Labels: adventures in canada, cool shit, thoughts

So, I just wanted to call attention to the red box here:

...that's right... this is one of those ad's from MySpace/Facebook that pretty much just blatantly says: "Guys - Need A Fling?"

Hah, well of course I need a fling!! Especially if the lady looks like the girl above!! I mean really, who doesn't?

That said, I really find it amusing when they do what I call "super target a demographic" and push these types of ads based on what your personal stats read on your MySpace/Facebook page.

My personal stats read something along the lines of me being single, and looking for love in all the wrong places or some kind o' jive like that...

Click the picture, the larger version looks even better... especially with the red box to help guide your eyes to the correct area of the image.

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Labels: funny shit, hot girls, thoughts

...and I know that's rare, but I am definitely at a loss for words after watching the source link below...

I was going to embed the movie on this site, but after I discovered that it made me feel nauseous to watch it, I thought better on that point of contention.

That said, click the source link below if you aren't a pussy and let us know what you think. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, eNemesis has been running for years now, and whenever I ask for feedback, I never receive it.

So write some emails, post some comments, get your "eNem" on, trick nasty bitches!!!


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Labels: jackassery, thoughts

For those of you who don't use MySpace, or prefer Facebook, or whatever the fark... you can find my new profile on Facebook by searching for my name (if you know it)... I can't really figure out what my "direct link" for my profile is...

If you go there and request an add from me, go ahead and mention that you are an eNemesis reader and I'll make sure and send you some "special" pictures that I've been holding onto for awhile now.

I'm sure the girl I was dating at the time won't be too happy about them.... but I can't really say that I give a fuck what she thinks... har har har, now who's the pirate, bitch? That's right, the pussy pirate, and ass pirate if I'm in the mood and the ass belongs to and is attached to a female.

I like to be specific.


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Labels: cool shit, current events, thoughts

Why yes, yes I do... just like I need another hole in my head....

In fact, I wanted to call some attention to a nice little ad I saw on "teh internats" today: Wow, now if I knew for sure that the person on the other end of the chat session was, 1) a girl, and 2) looked like the girl above... 24/7... I would be all about chatting with "sexy singles" and I would probably spend so much time doing it that I wouldn't leave the house....

Fortunately for me, I know better. I also know that the girls they use in the ads look nothing like the girls who join these sites who usually have the lowest, worst, unimaginably horrible self esteem.

I've definitely dated a few girls with low self esteem, hell if I wanted to be super honest I would probably even say that I had contributed to the lowering of aforementioned self esteem once we were dating (not that I'm so spectacular that everyone around me ends up hating themselves... but more like I can be a pretty big asshole when I really set my mind to it... not that I set my mind to it... it just seems to happen).

I think what I need more than anything, certainly more than some sexy piece of ass, is a person who is confident in who they are, confident that they want to be with me, and is willing to love me at my worst. I say that because I truly believe that there is no such thing as the "perfect" relationship, but there are people who are "perfect" for one another in the sense that they can accept the other person's faults completely, hands down without condition.

Well, no news flash there, in fact that's probably something that I have actually believed since I was 15 (so like a billion years ago), but I haven't really applied it to my life.

In addition to some other changes I am making in my life, I have vowed, resolved, promised myself, that the next girl isn't going to just be a hot piece of ass, a young piece of ass, a tight vajayjay, big knockers, or any combination of these as a qualifier for dating. Those things are all very nice, but the next girl is going to need to have a real personality, some goals, some accomplishments, and even some failures that she has learned from....

....let's hope anyways... let's hope....

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Labels: adventures in kenmore, thoughts

I spoke with my sister today... I actually woke her up @ 1pm... I was somehow shouldered with the task of calling over to my grandparent's house to find out what was going on with her and with my grandfather.

I found out my grandfather has less than 2 months to live, not 2 years as had been communicated to me previously. This floored me.

Then I found out that my little sister was there, asleep on the couch. I had been told that she came there yesterday but was turned away by my Aunt and Grandparents.... when I called my goal was to find out why they had sabotaged my mom's plans to fly my sister down to New Mexico.... I quickly found out that I didn't have the full picture. My sister has been telling my mom one thing and our family another.

My sister, this entire time, has never had any intention of moving down to New Mexico. She has been requesting money from my mom, but not spending it on what she should be. As I had my sister on the phone, I decided to take this opportunity to explain her situation to her.

I advised her of the fact that our grandparents were going to kick her out soon, and that she would be left with nowhere to live. She said she was fine with that and didn't care. I started asking her some other questions, and explaining to her that success requires sacrifice. Progress requires sacrifice....

She didn't care... her voice was so cold... and then it hit me... she is going to have to hit rock bottom. She is going to have to live the hard life. I know that I do not like the idea of my sister having to learn all of this on her own.... but I also know that if she chooses that road for herself, that I can definitely respect the choice.... I don't have to like it.


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Labels: thoughts

...well super, you thought the title was really kick ass.... well fucking awesome there little jackass!! Do you want a fucking gold star for that shit or what you faggot?

I said that to some young punk kid the other day because he made a comment to me about my car which I probably allowed myself to take a bit too personal.

Oh fucking well. I don't care what that punk bitch thinks and I certainly couldn't care less about what your "wind flapping" beef curtains are screaming at you to repeat.

..... I guess I'm a bit upset right now....

I'm definitely just a tad bit confused on what my next course of action should be in this circumstance. Relationships are already fucking hard enough for me.... it's a constant struggle when you don't trust anyone... and when your brain is always screaming at you to "watch out for this" or "i bet this person is doing this..." GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!

It makes things ten times worse on top of all of that when people you don't really even know or talk to that often start warning you. When they start talking shit on the sidelines and you overhear what they are talking about.... FUCK, is that something I should pay attention to? Can ignoring these odd feelings and warning signs really be all that beneficial in the long run?

Can preventing myself from obtaining more information about a subject I heard in passing really score me that many karma "roll-over" points to use later in life?

No. Preventing yourself from doing anything in life definitely always means at least two things:

1. You have some good self-control, but nobody gives a fuck about you and your self-control right now. In fact, I might just pay good money to have someone come over to your house
2. You are fucking yourself out of possibly very valuable information which you could have obtained at a cost of absolutely nothing

So, in retrospect, and hell reality even.... it would seem that I do in fact need to start making a mental note of all of this information that I hear, and then hold onto it for use at a later date.

Diabolical? Oh fuck yes.
Committed to my goal? Beyond committed.

I will get you.

-link

Labels: bitch killa, stupid fuckers, thoughts

Yeah... neither do I. But if you find yourself bored, go check out the source link below...

You'll get a great laugh if you hit up the picture section....


-link

Labels: jackassery, stupid fuckers, thoughts

How about loaning your work badge out to people? You like doing that also? Well.... listen and learn tricks...

I used to work with a couple of knuckle heads... one male, one female. I'll make the story short and sweet for you....

The guy tells the girl "hey, I need to use your badge to get into the building, I left mine inside" or something like that...

Girl let's guy borrow badge. Guy proceeds to steal computer equipment from the building he used her badge to get into. He gets caught. He obviously gets fired. Now for the icing....

She is fired also as an accomplice. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Don't loan out your badge. Oh, and when you are on a team and supposed to be doing "team-work".... fucking do it, because Karma is a bitch and never quite comes around the same way you sent it out.


-link

Labels: current events, jackassery, stupid fuckers, thoughts

That's right tricks, check it:

Labels: cool shit, Microsoft, thoughts

So, I just had to post about this before I called it a night... This is how my day started today:

I left my house this morning to head to work, I got to the first main street on my way to the freeway and I saw someone in front of me, speeding up and braking, over and over again. This idiot's truck was literally bouncing all the way down the street because he was too impatient to let the person in front of him drive at the normal speed for the road.

Once the person in front changed lanes, this "jackass" decided to hit the gas and so did I. I guess I got closer to this guy than he wanted, because once we got through the second light he hit his brakes to brake check me. I thought to myself "what the fuck?" and threw my arms in the air. That's it.

This jackass then pulls into the first gas station that we come to, and motions to me for me to come in there also. I figure this guy is probably crazy, and I go past the gas station and turn right. Since the station is on the corner, he goes over to the other side that I am now on, gets to the exit for the lot, leans out of his window and spits on my car. I chuckle, chalk it up to him being a fucking degenerate piece of shit, and continue driving to the Arco which is on the other side of the freeway.

I guess he followed me over there, saw me go to the Arco and at the following red light he turns into a connected parking lot and drives up to me (I'm walking over to the store now to pay for gas) and he proceeds to ask me what in the fuck my problem is. I tell him I don't have a problem and that I'm just trying to get to work. He says:

"well good, because I will jump out of this car and choke you out faggot ass white boy..." at this point I turn my back to him and walk away while he continues yelling profanity at me...

I will tell you this right now:

1. This will never happen to me again
2. If some jackass does try this again, he will be sorry

I've decided that Everett (especially near Highway 99 and Casino Road) is full of degenerates. This one happened to be a toothless, methed out, piece of shit asshole Mexican (I have nothing against Mexicans or any other race) who judging by his actions had nothing to live for or lose.

I was a bit angry about this whole ordeal at first, until I realized that this chump fucker is going to go home to a "fugly" ass girlfriend or wife, a child who will grow up to be a nothing or nobody, and a shitty ass American truck that needs a tune-up badly.

Oh also, how's it feel to have to "mash" your food around with your tongue? You toothless trick ass fag (I have nothing against Gay people either, and if you identify yourself with the word "fag" then you deserve to be offended).

-link

Labels: thoughts

Ok, so right after my last post about acne (of all things....), I decided to take a look at the statistics for the site (we collect stats through a number of means, Google Analytics being one of them...), and I noticed that we have had a massive shift this year in our traffic sources.

When we first started almost all of our readers came to the site directly, either through a favorite/bookmark saved on their machine or typing it in. There were a few websites cool enough to send traffic our way with a link or post on their page, but not many.

Now we have a much larger list of people linking to us, and we also seem to really be doing well in the search engine referral category. Seeing this, I decided to check out some of the search terms/phrases that people were using to get this site in the result list.... and... well... I can't say I was surprised by what I found... which was to be expected I guess.... awww fuck, just check these out and you will see what I'm talking about:

1. photosynth csi
2. cfm boots
3. enemesis
4. flying intertubes
5. scar on tina fey's face
6. batik""
7. top food & drug"" + ""safe harbor""
8. 2001 kisw rock girl calendar
9. authentic crocodile tuxedo
10. best way to clean asshole
11. bittorrent rad
12. butt hole + spic
13. coffee on an empty stomach
14. csi photosynth
15. danny culotti
16. definition enemesis
17. definition of cooze
18. demotivator
19. flying inner tube
20. flying inner tubes
21. g.i. jose family guy
22. ggw ""finally 18""
23. gi jose family guy
24. helicopters buzz everett+march 16, 2007
25. hello and congratulations you have been phone call
26. homo asstoys
27. kisw rock web designer mouse cursor
28. meaning of a pink bandana
29. photosynth csi:
30. pictures of jackasses mating/breeding
31. price is right"" compilation #1 (bouncing boobs
32. running of the nudes
33. tina fey scar face
34. vagina its not a clown car
35. what is the lynnwood washington police frequency

I took the liberty of throwing some bold and red formatting on the key items above... I just want to know what in the fuck is up with 10, 12, 26, 30 and then of course 35. Who in the fuck wants to spy on the Lynnwood PD? I guess it might be nice to know if you are getting pulled over... just in case you couldn't see the fucking lights in your rear view mirror...

Also, I'm sorry, but is there a "best way" to clean an asshole? I've been told that I'm an asshole, and I just take a shower when I need to clean myself... I find that's the "best" way... I guess you could possibly also be dating someone with a "temperamental twat" or something like that... but that's your problem, not this website's.

I just realized that I have another question... is there something special that would make an "ass toy" for "homo use" vs. "non-homo use?" Oh actually I might already know this answer... I heard that the live action "Speedracer" movie is a homo ass toy, AND that it makes you gay. That's what they said on KISW anyhow... If you know the answer to this, please go ahead and email us here. Actually, let us know if you have comments about ANY of the search terms from the list above.

-link

Labels: current events, funny shit, jackassery, thoughts

I hate acne, pimples, zits or whatever the fuck you want to call them/it...

I've been dealing with imperfections in my skin since I was 10. I'm used to it now, and I know that it is directly related (at least for my condition) to the climate here in the Puget Sound combined with the lack of normal sweating that I do.

My skin was the cleanest it has ever been when I was going through boot for the Marine Corps. Because I was sweating more than any man should ever sweat, and that served to keep my pores super clean.

That said, it's time for me to start working out on the regular again... running mostly, but lifting would be awesome too. I think that all in all my body would feel much better if I were working out on the regular, but also, my skin would be much more clean.

Anyhow, the source link below will take you to an article on Wikipedia about the anatomy of a pimple, how they form, what they consist of and probably some other interesting information...

Like for instance, I had no idea that most pimples are the result of "dead hair cells" which shed from the hair while it's still inside the skin, near the actual follicle.... interesting.


-link

Labels: thoughts

whoooo hoooo....

So, I was sitting here thinking about life, and some other stuff...

Let's talk about the other stuff..

I'm watching UFC's 50 best knockouts #2 or some shit on Spike TV. I just watched this match, where one guy kicked high and followed in with a strong elbow swing. He ended up actually connecting with his fist on the opponents jaw... and knocked him the fuck out.

Amazing... sometimes I think about going and working out more... then I stop thinking crazy thoughts...


-link

Labels: thoughts

....I know it's all just a state of mind.

I was listening to a really great song today. In fact I'm listening to it again right now, and it's wonderful. The song is Misty Mountain Hop - Led Zeppelin in case you were wondering.

I suppose I could even fill you up.... with some conjecture on what the song is about... Like to hear it? Here it goes.... Some people say this song is about sitting in a park getting high and running into the cops. Well hell, check out these lyrics:

I didn't notice but it had got very dark and I was really
Really out of my mind.
Just then a policeman stepped up to me and asked us, said,
"Please,hey, would we care to all get in line,
Get in line."
Well, you know, they asked us to stay for tea and have some fun; Oh, oh,oh.
he said that his friends would all drop by, ooh.

Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see,
and baby, baby, baby, do you like it?
There you sit, sitting spare like a book on a shelf rustin',
ah, not trying to fight it.
You really don't care if they're comin'; oh, oh,
I know that it's all a state of mind.

So, I'm listening to this song, and things are slowly sinking in. Like the fact that all of life really is about your state of mind. Your position, your success, your perception, how you are perceived.... all of it.

It's all a state of miiiind... wooo hoooo... wooooooo hooooooo... wooo hoooo.... wooooooo hooooooo...

Oh I really don't know.... whoa... whoa... Oh I really don't knoooowwwww


-link

Labels: cool shit, music, thoughts

So, for the first time in 2 decades (that's right, 20 fucking years!), the feds have created some additional "wilderness" land.... this is basically the "most protected" that any land can be in the United States.

Check out the linked source story for more info....


-link

Labels: cool shit, current events, thoughts, world news

Man... often, when I think back on fonder times... I remember when I worked at the Funplex and dated a hot piece of ass named Angela. Fuck, I still remember that... my first and it was perfect, like fucking textbook.

Ahem... anyhow, so I have this circle of friends, who shall remain nameless unless they choose to identify themselves. We all used to work at the Funplex, which sat at the base of the Magnolia bridge (also known as the Garfield Street Bridge), and used to be right between a tool rental business and a sewage transfer station. Fuck, we had some hot summers down there too... out back was the train tracks, and a bit further off some "beach front" in the crudest sense of the term and some docks which kept the salt water nice and stagnant.

Needless to say, the odor was strong.

We liked to pass the time by.... well... by playing pranks on and being generally mean to the customers without them knowing it. One of our favorites was the spray silicone.

I vaguely remember a time when the Funplex had this big blow up bounce toy with a step on the front. The idea was that the kids would bounce around in this toy, and upon wishing to exit the monstrosity, they would hop down to this step and then stand up on the floor.

Unfortunately someone decided to spray the step with silicone. The kids hopping down would just slide right off and land on the cement. When I think back, I imagine more than a couple of those kids breaking their tailbone all for the humor of whomever was running that ride.

I guess that's the appeal of being a carnie??

Anyhow... the spray silicone was actually for this large tube structure with slides. Like those big ugly things you see at McDonald's... we were "supposed" to spray the slides down "lightly" to reduce the friction for the kids sliding down them. Well, since someone decided to use it on the "Jungle Bouncer," the person running the Fun Zone decided to place duct tape sticky side up about 3/4 down the slide. I can think back and imagine some poor kid in shorts or a girl in a skirt hitting that tape. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Can you believe they paid for this shit??

The other item the spray silicone was for is the Bumper Cars... wow, what a fucking whoop Deedee whoop.... fucking pieces of shit. They had big red inter tubes around them, so we were supposed to spray those down to reduce the friction from the kids bumping around.

I have a bit of a twist here... the maintenance guy had a kid who used to work summers there. I used to have about one day a week off... and on my one day off, this kid managed to fuck things up.

These bumper cars ran on twin 24 volt deep cycle marine batteries. This kid managed to plug a clearly marked battery into itself. Needless to say it exploded... almost in his face. A piece of white hot battery cable flew off and disintegrated into the industrial carpet. This kid had some burns on his arms and side of his face.

Amazing... the guy who is the most careful, the most intelligent when it comes to fixing and maintaining things, has a son completely the opposite.

Just something to think about I suppose... don't worry, more to come. This is the light stuff


-link

Labels: funny shit, Funplex, thoughts

Lately I've been feeling mentally down... I'm not sure why, I have a billion reasons to be happy... but I suppose it could be the realization of life and what a lack of flare and fireworks the journey of life can have at times.

I decided to try and shake things today, even though my back hurts like a mother fucker and I'm not really in any kind of mood to be social...

I feel completely exhausted, like I might have the flu or something similar... I get these tiny spurts of energy, followed by a complete wave of exhaustion. I'm starting to wonder if I somehow caught mono... eh... only way to find out is to go to the doctor I suppose...

Maybe he will give me some happy pills also...


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Labels: thoughts

Dear Loyal Reader,

I wanted to first start by thanking you personally for being a loyal reader of eNemesis. It's YOUR loyalty that makes this entire project worthwhile.

Now, you might be wondering why I didn't address this by name. I mean after all, if I'm going to go so far as to say that I want to thank you personally, shouldn't this letter be personal? Indeed it should, and I thank you for pointing this out, because it also happens to be the topic of my letter today, which is.... viewer/user feedback!

Let me cut to the chase here. We want to start expanding the website (yes, this website) and feedback from the user community would be the best for helping us decide in which direction to head at the beginning of our expansion phase.

I had some thoughts on developing some interactive web time wasters, or perhaps a more useful web-app that provides it's users with some type of information that is currently not so easy to get. This is where you come in.

Whether your name is Bob, Jack, Janet or something that I just don't know how to spell or say, I believe that you have the talent, experience, education and opinions that we are looking for when it comes to being as creative as possible in telling someone else (us) how to spend our time and money with the very direct and explicit goal of making you happy... or at least more complacent when it comes to deciding which website to waste your time at during the day.

That said, I'm going to go back to learning some PowerShell so that I can continue kicking ass and taking names at work.... (yes, I work for the most bad ass software company in the world, and I don't care what anyone says about them, I like picking up trash for them... I'm lucky to be a janitor!!)

Hah, yeah right... like I would mop up someone else's shit for a living... oh wait... FUCK!!!! *


-link

*(P.S.~ if you didn't get the last joke above, the "oh wait... FUCK!!!!" was a representation of my realization that each and every job anywhere on the face of the planet does and will always involve some form of cleaning up somebody else's bullshit..... in both the figurative and literal senses...)

Labels: changes, technology, thoughts, web development

So... I guess I won't go into any crazy details here... just because it's probably not very wise... but, I will say this:

A friend of mine came across a pirated/ripped copy of one of the latest albums by a band named "Tool" which I'm sure many of you know of, if not listen to. What I found amusing was the picture that the individual who ripped this album decided to use for the album art... actually "what I found amusing" is not really a proper way to convey how this picture made me feel. In fact, you will just have to see the picture for yourself, take note of the feeling you get, and then assume that I felt something similar... (If you laugh at it, you are a dick... and probably friend material for all intents and purposes...)


So, as my friend is listening to this album (and losing a piece of his soul with every second of the track that plays), this picture is displayed as the album art:




Fuck, what in the hell do you even say about something like this? I can't tell if this is a picture of the guy who ripped the music, or maybe a relative of his that he's trying to make famous... or hell, maybe it's just some random person that the culprit found a picture of and put it up to throw the authorities off his trail! Who really knows why people do what they do? I surely do not...

Thanks for reading... and yes you are correct, this post didn't really have an end... that's apparently what happens when I just start typing without thinking the content through or reviewing it... but hell, had I taken the time to review this post, it never would have made it to press.


-link

Labels: funny shit, stupid fuckers, thoughts

I'm sitting here with one of my business partners, Ray, and he took a second to share this statement with me.... (which by the way he came up with himself, so don't fucking steal it you poser tricks...):

Give the laziest man the hardest task, he'll find the easiest way to do it.

Seriously, that's just a little slice of truth for you there....


-link

Labels: cool shit, thoughts

Check out the source link below for a story from USA Today (I know, it gives you butterflies to think about USA Today... in a formal context), where they talk about this kick ass software that is being worked/released soon... some shit... read the story to find out more..

Basically, this software is capable of taking a series of photos and stitching them together in order to re-create a 3-dimensional representation of the space/area pictured in the picture... if that makes sense....


-link

Labels: current events, technology, thoughts, world news

I'm just going to let the readers read this and decide...

Check out the source link below, and then ask yourself... "how many steps away from an undetectable 'back door' are we?"


-link

Labels: current events, technology, thoughts, world news

I just recently received some very negative and very upsetting bad news... and I really wasn't even sure how to feel about it let alone what I should say about it... I'm still not. I think I might give it a try here anyhow...

My grandfather, someone I am very close to, just recently had to go to the hospital due to walking pneumonia. While there, they drained the fluid from his lungs and found cancerous cells in the fluid. They aren't sure where they are coming from just yet, but this definitely means that he either got cancer again, or it came out of remission in a new or the same spot.

I don't really know if you can "get cancer again" technically. So let me just throw that out there as a disclaimer right now.

I wrote this in a message to a friend, and I wanted to re-post it here only because I feel that it does the situation great justice in the realm of description:

So, that's a sad situation... I'm very close to my grandfather, and really I have nothing but respect and admiration for him. He's taught me nearly everything I know about being a responsible, adult man. Without his guidance I am quite sure that I would have no options available to me in the successful adult world that I am a part of now. Every important choice I make in life involves reflecting back to something he has taught or told me. Nearly everything that I feel pride for in life has an association to him on some level... and for that I am both grateful and scared, only because I really don't know how I'm going to feel about this after he is gone.

Obviously I know that my grandfather is old, and what that inevitably leads to. This upsets me though only because it casts a shadow of doubt upon my belief that people who do great things in life, at any level, are rewarded for them at some point. I just don't see living out your "golden" years like this very "rewarding" at all. I think it's bullshit that he has diabetes also, and has had to lose parts of his body to it. I find it unfair and unjust that he continues taking blow after blow, and that for everything he has put into life, it doesn't seem to be giving him much in return right now. Not much good anyhow.... and to that I say "fuck you."

I feel guilt and sorrow over the lack of attention I have given him over the more recent years, but also find it hard to reverse that pattern due to the way he tends to push it away at times. He does not however, ever forget to ask me about how work is going. He takes an active interest in making sure that I am doing well when it comes to my livelihood. I love my grandfather very much, and I know that it is impossible for me to even comprehend the world he had to grow up in, live in, fight for... I will never know what it's like to fight a monolithic empire like the Nazi's. I have no concept of what federal de-regulation can do to an industry, other than reading about it in a history book. He lived and worked through the de-regulation of transportation in the United States.

For all intents and purposes my grandfather is one of the most practical people I know. If you asked me who I would have to draw a straighter line of process, between my grandfather and Einstein, I would choose my grandfather every time. If you asked me who has influenced me the most in my life, who has provided me with invaluable knowledge about life, and how to succeed at this "game" that we all take far too serious... I would tell you that my grandfather had.

If you look in the dictionary, under the definition for "man" you will find there a picture of my grandfather.

I thank god often when I think about how my grandfather took an active interest and role in my schooling and bringing up, as much as he could in a female dominated family. I thank god that my grandfather was the type of man he was, because I have seen what happens when a man has nothing to look up to. Unfortunately in life I have found that there is often a lack of anything great to look up to while on the opposite side there is no end of objects to gain your focus. Thank you for being my beacon in the dark grandpa, thank you so very much.

To you sir, I extend great thanks and the use of all of my abilities and intellect that you should ever have a need for or want, for without your guidance and love, none of these abilities or intellect would I ever have had the privilege of knowing.... with all of my love eternally...


-link

Labels: growth, thoughts

So, this video totally kicks ass, I found it on http://www.hulu.com/, and.... it makes this awesome reference to G.I. Jose, the parody character of G.I. Joe. I used to watch a ton of G.I. Joe as a kid, so this one hit home.... enjoy:


-link

Labels: family guy, funny shit, thoughts

My mom sent me a link to a gallery of Batik paintings, which are done by a new neighbor of hers (she just bought a new house and is waiting on all of the financial stuff to close...) and he has some images online so you can review what is available and to get an idea for his style of work.

If you check the source link below it will take you to his website. Checking the "Batik" link here or above will open a new window with the Wikipedia article describing what a Batik is for your reference.

-link

Labels: art, cool shit, thoughts

What's up everyone!! My apologies for the delay in between posts... Nothing new here, just busy with work as per normal. I did start a new job at a company that I've always wanted to work for, and what can I say, I love it!!!

Now, I should probably get to the point on this post... lest my readers start to believe that my job or the company that I work for have anything to do with the aforementioned list of shitty bitches.

Now, the list of states in the United States of America which qualify to be nominated for a status of "shitty bitch":

1. Wyoming
2. North Dakota
3. South Dakota
4. Kansas
5. Mississippi
6. Indiana
7. West Virginia
8. Vermont
9. New Hampshire
10. Rhode Island
11. Maine

You might just ask yourself what all of these states have in common.... you might be so disappointed with the list of states after seeing the names, that your ability to care about the subject could very well be gone... defunct.... extinct... whatever you want to call it.

You should know by now that I don't really care what you care about... I'm going to tell your shitty ass anyhow. These states don't have a single eNemesis reader in them in the past 30 days...

I have to be honest now... when I compiled the list for the first time... and instantly noticed the extremely lame nature of each and every state in the list... I was almost relieved. I mean, people from these states might just shart if they read my site.. and how would they handle that? Not quite shit but more than a fart? Those are difficult and confusing times if you ask me...

-link

Labels: cool shit, funny shit, stupid fuckers, thoughts

....and I'm not talking "pre-nuptial" here either. Check out the "source" link below to read through a pretty amusing "contract" between significant others.

-link

Labels: funny shit, thoughts

If you take a gander at the source link below, it will take you to a story which details Microsoft's plan to offer a kind of "hobby pack" for casual developers in the embedded software/hardware arena.

From the story: "For $200 to $400, a hobbyist or academic researcher can buy a package that includes Windows CE 6, developer tools, Visual Studio, and a hardware reference board from one of five hardware vendors."

This is going to kick so much ass!!!


-link

Labels: cool shit, current events, technology, thoughts, world news

Check out the source link below for a rather disturbing story about how our public servants sometimes do us wrong...

-link

Labels: current events, thoughts

So, I was going through some boxes and I found a mini disc player, an optical patch cable and discovered that my external Sound Blaster sound card has an optical out port on it.


I thought that just for fun, I would transfer some audio to the device using the old method of "dubbing" via the optical patch cable.


I'll let you know how it goes...


Check it:


Let me know if you have any cool ideas for the mini disc player...


-link

Labels: cool shit, technology, thoughts

So, I was on the AT&T Mobility website, trying to look up some instructions for a friend's phone when I ran across this:

If you look at the second text message on the "example screen" there is a fucking text that says "I'm jealous of your ho." What in the fuck is this?

What in the hell AT&T, are you trying to win the most offensive instructional website award?

Actually, I thought that shit was pretty awesome... I linked the article below for source, but I've heard this has been changed and will be gone tomorrow! It's the "second" #4 on the page...

-link

Labels: funny shit, thoughts

I was doing some thinking and, (I know, I've been told not to do this before... and it's also probably what caused that burning smell before... but I think I'm addicted to thinking....) it occurred to me that our (the United States') War On Drugs (we'll call it WOD from here in... heh..) has something completely contradictory to the idea of a sober society occurring.

If you were to enroll in a drug and alcohol treatment course, something they would tell you is that you have to stay away from ALL drugs, including alcohol, in order to get clean. Chances are that your state endorses this method of thinking through a deferral program of some sort, where if you get in trouble with drinking and/or drugs, they will reduce your penalties for attending treatment in order to "resolve" your issue and prevent future occurrences. This is how Washington state works. They do this because they believe that it works, and they agree with the idea of total abstinence. In fact they even write it into your probation conditions.

The WOD attempts to create a 100% drug free society. Something that has never been done ever in human history that we know of. ("Sorry I lost the tablets dude!!! I'm so high......." right?) I mean everyone knows that the library at Alexandria, Egypt burnt down from a fire started with some one's tipped over opium pipe..... I'm joking in case you didn't know that...

The WOD allows for alcohol use, something that any treatment center will tell you is the ONLY drug that affects EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY when consumed. Something that creates an opiate-like by-product in your brain called an "Isoquinaline."

Another quick fact: "The most common substance of abuse/dependence in patients presenting for treatment is alcohol." From: Gabbard: "Treatments of Psychiatric Disorders". Published by the American Psychiatric Association: 3rd edition, 2001, ISBN 0-88048-910-3

It's pretty clear that alcohol is the real gateway drug, not Marijuana. But that's another topic for another time.

So, I ask you... why wouldn't we, if attempting to accomplish a feat never before accomplished ever in the human race, employ every manner and option of technology, science or proven practice in our endeavor to accomplish said feat?

Because it's really all about money. In Washington, the state sells liquor, nobody else can unless it's beer or wine. The state also issues tickets for driving while impaired by alcohol, drugs or antihistamines. It will also then require that you attend a treatment facility to be "evaluated" as to whether or not you have an issue with drugs and/or alcohol. The locations who administer the assessment also charge for and provide the treatment that this assessment may require you to participate in. A solid and undeniable conflict of interest.

So, what this really means I think, is that we probably blew our WOD... and spent all of our money while doing so...

I hate being broke and limp...


-link

Labels: thoughts

If you are a cop in the Puget sound, no I'm sorry.. that's not fair at all. If you are a police officer in Lynnwood, Washington then please, let me know how it feels to be a glorified tax collector. I mean, it's pretty damn fucking clear to me that you don't protect and serve anyone.

It seems to me that you "guys" just look for "easy tickets" like a brake light being out (1 out of 3 brake lights out isn't hurting anyone, in fact, if someone rear-ends me with two of my lights red in their face, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that one more wouldn't have helped), or a seat belt being off, or something equally minor.

Now, here is where things get fun... you use those items to "troll" for more severe offenses, hell even MAJOR offenses I imagine. What's that old saying, "if someone is willing to break a serious law, then they are probably double willing to ignore something trivial" or something like that... so I suppose you probably turn some nice revenue in on that premise.

Let's look at another situation though... one where someone is trying to do all of the right things, hell even trying to go out of their way to help someone out, and you pick on them. When they are a week and a half away from being out from under a net that they didn't even know they were in, and you make yourself feel better by not hitting them with the full penalty, but just enough to put them back into the system. Just enough to tip the scales and get more money out of them... just enough to make them hate life again...

Well check this out you son of a bitch, pig fucking assholes... you aren't getting over on me this time. You aren't putting me back into a system that fails everyone involved on a daily basis. You won't set me back and undo the work I have put my heart and soul into to get ahead. You won't fuck me over again, and you won't get me involved.

I did what I was told to do, and if you and your "state" can't get shit in line, then you can go fuck yourself. It's not my fault that you failed to inform me that you wanted me to comply with something that when looking at all of my paperwork, and calling the "head office" and doing my due diligence to find out that I supposedly am not required to do this "something." It's not my fault that you like to fuck people in the ass when they make a mistake, and unfortunately you missed out on this anus.... you sodomist pigs....

Now if you really want to I suppose, you can lick my brown eye pink... savage fucks.


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

So, there are a pair of ducks that come by the building that I spend 40+ hours a week in (I think some people call it work...), and they are pretty amusing I thought.

They like to get really close to me while I'm smoking, and probably pray for me to throw food to them...

Anyhow, in keeping with the theme of these two crazy ducks, I thought I would share these photos that I took of them... walking away from me... heh... What it made me think about though, is how these birds seem to be very loyal to one another in the mating/breeding sense... basically, what I thought was, that the ducks choose a partner and stay with them...

I was completely wrong about that... check out this excerpt from the Wikipedia article linked as the source for this post:

Mallards form pairs only until the female lays eggs, at which time she is left by the male. The clutch is 8–13 eggs, which are incubated for 27–28 days to hatching with 50–60 days to fledgling. The ducklings are precocial, and can swim and feed themselves on insects as soon as they hatch, although they stay near the female for protection. Young ducklings are not naturally waterproof and rely on the mother to provide waterproofing. Mallards also have rates of male-male sexual activity that are unusually high for birds. In some cases, as many as 19% of pairs in a Mallard population are male-male homosexual.

When they pair off with mating partners, often one or several drakes will end up "left out". This group will sometimes target an isolated female duck — chasing, pestering and pecking at her until she weakens (a phenomenon referred to by researchers as rape flight), at which point each male will take turns copulating with the female. Male Mallards will also occasionally chase other males in the same way. (In one documented case, a male Mallard copulated with another male he was chasing after it had been killed when it flew into a glass window.

Wow, what in the fuck? So according to this information, it is possible for a mallard duck to be one or all of these things:

• Rapist
• Homosexual
• Necrophiliac

Needless to say, I was really fucking surprised.

Most of the eNemesis audience will probably tell me to get the fuck lost for this one... but like I said before, if you don't like it, go fuck your self, you trick nasty ho!!!

I now present to you... "Ducks" by link:

I know, I know... with sick photography skills like this.. it won't be long before "sexy" has been brought back in full effect!

-link

Labels: animals, funny shit, thoughts

...and sometimes it doesn't... but I definitely know of a few project that followed this path (click to see the full image):

Thanks for the link Evil Z!

-link

Labels: funny shit, thoughts

The source link below will bring up what I thought was an interesting read, especially since it has to do with a very pivotal decision that could be made in the near future here.

Anytime the supreme court officially "considers" something, they are forced to make an end all be all decision about it at the end. That's why I think it's a bit unfortunate that they are "considering" anything about gun control, I would prefer the laws stay where they are on that topic. However, the court has not conclusively interpreted the Second Amendment (most commonly known as the "right to bear arms") since its ratification in 1791.

I think we are in a good place with gun control. You can still get a gun fairly easy if you aren't a criminal... and if you are a criminal, even easier to get one (unless you go to the store or something). Assault weapons are banned, which makes sense.. you can't walk down the street with a loaded rifle. You can get a concealed pistol licence which allows you to carry a loaded handgun on your person. I think these laws are great, mainly because they make us feel safe, and they are a nice compromise.

Now, I think we can all agree that no amount of law-making is going to stop a real criminal from getting his hands on a gun. An idiot? Sure, they won't ever get one if they have a record, as they shouldn't... Every time you hear about some really fucked up gun accident, I will bet anyone that the story involved an idiot of some kind... well duh, right?

Another item that caught my eye was this: "Does that make it unreasonable for a city with a very high crime rate... to say 'No handguns here?'"

Well, I was doing some thinking on that statement, and it seems to me that handgun's should be REQUIRED by all law abiding, tax paying citizens in high crime areas. I challenge any stupid fuck wad to cross the line with me when I have a gun or three in my house locked and loaded.

...oh right, back to the story...

So, this was all sparked by the handgun ban which Washington D.C. has in effect for people within the "district/city limits" or whatever you want to call it... basically you can't take a handgun into D.C. You can't have it on you, at home, in a box, etc. No hand guns in the area. Rifles are allowed, but must be unloaded and dissembled or bound by a trigger lock.... which definitely brings into question what the point of having that rifle as a method of home defense is as it is so obviously not in a condition where it could be used quickly.

So really, this is about Washington D.C. and whether or not they are preventing people in that area from being able to protect themselves... which of course rolls up to a full review of the Second Amendment.

How very nervous this makes me...

Now, I know that some of my dearest friends don't like guns. My mom definitely doesn't, and I can respect that. I don't think anyone who is afraid of a gun or what it can do should own one. You have to be confident, calm and reasonable when using a handgun, and some people just cannot be that way. There are rules to handling and using them, and in a perfect world... everyone would learn those rules and follow them. I am someone who follows rules that are of such a serious nature, of such a nature that some one's life could be forfeit should I get lazy or stupid. But, the few out there who do not follow the rules, always seem to fuck it up for the rest of us huh?

I dunno... just my $0.02...


-link

Labels: current events, thoughts, world news

...but if I had the chance, I would bang the hell out of Mariah Carey!!

You can click the source link below for an image search of her, but I thought this one pretty much shows why I want a piece:

Look at that rack!!!! It's amazing!! It's gorgeous!!! Fuck, it's amazingly gorgeous!!!

Like I said... if I had the chance... I would totally do it!!

Like I'm going to have that chance anytime soon....

-link

Labels: hot girls, thoughts

So, I have some awesome news to announce... for those of you that haven't heard it yet...

I just got my official offer from Microsoft for a full-time position that I just recently interviewed for. They "met my demands" for pay, and the sweetened the pot by throwing a bunch of other random, valuable perks my way.

Let's review some of them:

1. A signing bonus in the form of company stock (not rare, I just didn't know about it)
2. $0 out of pocket Medical coverage (no co-pay, no premiums... I can just "go" to the doctor and not worry about receiving a $300 bill showing up the next week)
3. Same thing for prescription coverage
4. Free use of the Microsoft Connector commuter service (charter buses that pick up at locations all over the Puget Sound)
5. Microsoft Prime card (I guess this thing gets me deals all over town)
6. A bunch of other shit...

So, I guess I can say that this is really surreal, and I still don't believe it has really happened! I suppose that now all I need to do is find a steady girlfriend who enjoys great sex and won't ask me a bunch of questions right when I first wake up in the morning... 8^)

If you are that girl, then email me and if you work out you can have 50% of the stuff I mentioned above and u know, the rest of my life...

But if not, if what I'm asking sounds like way too much... then just go fuck yourself and die.... now!


-link

Labels: current events, Microsoft, thoughts

I thought the linked story was interesting, mainly because it doesn't seem that very many people acknowledge the possibility that someone could have possibly "provoked" Hitler to do what he did with the Nazi war machine.

If you check the article linked via the "source" link at the bottom of this post, you will see a fairly old news article which talks about "The Jewish Declaration of War on Nazi Germany - The Economic Boycott of 1933."

World War II started as two separate conflicts, the first being in Asia in 1937, the second being in Europe around 1939.

In or around 1933 however, the general sentiment in the air was to give Hitler his space and to also play nice with him (mainly because nobody really knew what he was going to do next, or when he was going to stop trying to take over Europe).

Wouldn't it be a sad irony if in fact one group of Jewish people caused another group of Jewish people to have to go through one of the most, if not the most tragic episode of ethnic cleansing this world has ever known? I guess this just goes to show that it really is a very small world after all.


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Labels: big government games, irony, politics, thoughts, war, world news

...based on a new federal sentencing guideline that went into effect Monday (today).

From the story: "Previously, a person with one gram of crack would receive the same sentence as someone with 100 grams of the powdered form of cocaine."

It's interesting to me that the government decided to hand out harder sentences based on how the drug is prepared and used, but I suppose the entire war on drugs follows this type of randomness in prosecution...

Check out the story at the source link below...


-link

Labels: current events, thoughts, war

...especially if I have to repeat the same story about what is going on in my life over and over again to you each time we talk.

Why is that fun for me? Why would I want to do that for you? Your twat ain't that nice trick...


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

First this:



..and also this:



...and fuck why not one more for good measure:



I just have one question... who let this shit happen? I know there are some parents to blame somewhere...


-link

Labels: cool shit, jackassery, stupid fuckers, thoughts

So I'm watching my favorite show, HBO's "The Wire" and my favorite "bad guy" just got GOT. If you know anything about the show, and you just caught the latest episode, then you know what I'm talking about.

For those who watch the show and haven't seen the latest episode, I won't ruin it for you...

Long story short thought, my favorite bad character just got shot by my least favorite bad character. This short piece of shit needs to get his ass beat just for the look he keeps on his face, let alone what he just did.

Piece of shit little fucking bitch ass!!!


-link

Labels: thoughts

It seems like Valentine's day (another of the Hallmark holidays), is a day full of surprises for most people. The overall goal apparently being to find something creative to give to someone that you care about as a gift, and/or sentiment of your love for the person...

...or some shit like that....

I didn't get any candy or flowers yesterday, which is probably normal seeing as how I am a guy... but I did get a proposition!!

That's right, an offer for a piece of ass!

Here is the run down from the text message log on my phone, we'll call the girl "Little Hottie" to protect the innocent:

link: "So, I am curious... you still going out w/ that same guy? Are things any better now?"

Little Hottie: "yea, still with him KINDA, things haven't been great and we havent hung out much lately. 2 much stress, but i honestly don't think it'll last much longer. Just neither one of us is doing anything about it. its hard 2 explain. but i can always be single when i feel like it or just dont' care and wanna go hump someone else! hahaha! maybe that'll happen when we hang out!! hehehe"

link: "Haha!! Well u should definitely let me know when you feel like having some trouble walking for the next few days! I'm pretty sure I can make that happen for u..."

So... that's what I got for Valentine's day... much better than some bullshit ass trick nasty flowers... fucking waste of money!


-link

Labels: bitch killa, hot girls, thoughts

This weekend was pretty difficult for me, just in the sense that I had to go through a bunch of family related drama which always seems to weigh more on me than any other type of drama.

I think overall, the realization that I came to is that I am tired of dealing with stupid people, and I'm tired of those same stupid people expecting... no... demanding, a level of respect that they have not yet earned.

I also love when people tell me that the problems or issues I am going through right now really aren't that serious... or when I want to talk about them, people just try to shut me up by saying "don't worry you will get through it.

MAN FUCK YOU. How about you shut the fuck up you stupid faggot ass bitch. Nobody even gives a fuck about how you deal drugs all day long, and how you are scared about getting caught all the time, fuck off and shut up. Then go grow up, because that shit is like 10 years ago....

Also, to the people in my family that want to just fuck around and not carry their own weight... fuck you, grow up and start carrying your own water.

I'm tired of disappointing people and disappointing results from disappointing situations...


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

I am very sad to say that I have the mis-fortune of knowing this certain person, who really when it comes down to it, is the most immature, selfish and self-loathing person that I know.

It seems as though every time I talk with this person, at some point or another this person will insult me. It doesn't matter how nice I am or what I say, either at some point during the "conversation" or at the end after we are done talking, this person will throw some really gross or hurtful statement in... why... I can only imagine it's because he starts feeling like a piece of shit about himself and so he says something mean in order to make himself feel better.

Fuck how you feel you faggot. I'm not here to take your shit, or even interact with you at all if you are going to be a giant faggot about things. Also, if you persist in attempting to push your shitty bullshit on me again, you will find someone you don't want to find at your front door.

Tread lightly you butt poking loser. (Disclaimer: I don't have anything against gay people. In fact I only use the word "fag" or "faggot" when referring to a straight person who is anywhere from a little to a lot homophobic. It gets under their skin more than anything else... and that's why I use it.)

That's all I have to say about that.


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

I just have to talk about this, because it's new for me and I'm not sure if I have some weird condition or syndrome...

I stumbled across the source link below (Audi.com) and instantly had to know more.

So I found:

• Audi World
• Jalopnik
• Wikipedia
• Audi
• Google Image Search

I know there will be a day in the future where I can afford something like this, a dream car if you will. Right now I can only dream, and know that all the haters that say I can't and won't, definitely won't get a ride from me when they are waiting for the bus. Trick ass mother fuckers...

-link

Labels: car, cool shit, thoughts

...some ugly ass people and some hot ass people. I found some interesting pictures on some MSN site about what people were wearing to the Grammy's... and I just have to say a few things about a few people...


First of all, Kanye... Can I ask what in the fuck you were thinking here? You aren't Al Pacino, you aren't Scarface, and last I heard you weren't a fag... no damn excuses here:

Wow, it's Courtney Love..... and can I just start by telling you that I'm less than impressed or excited by the fact that, one, this trick is still alive, and two, she still gets invited to Hollywood events, and three, THAT PEOPLE STILL ACTUALLY WASTE FILM ON THIS HAG!!! Courtney, go home and stay there... even if your house catches fire, do not ever leave it again:

This is ummm... Bootsy Collins? How about you get the fuck lost with your Zebra looking attire... you definitely look like the weakest of the herd:

Oh look, it's Jennifer Love-Hewitt. What a fine piece of ass! I think on my list of "pieces of ass" she definitely get's a 9.5 if not a 10 (If you don't agree, I don't really fucking care). I'm not sure what the deal is about JLH, but I think part of it has to do with the "natural look" she sticks with. There is something less and less appealing about plastic:

...and there you have it folks... Hollywood at it's worst and... somewhat best.

-link

Labels: ass clowns, current events, fresh to death, stupid fuckers, thoughts

I consider myself somewhat of an expert on tight pussy now, seeing as how I've had so much of it.

Now... let me just make a few more generalized statements about my best friend, "tight pussy."

I love me some tight pussy, in fact I love tight pussy so fucking much, that I (yes, me) will put up with just about anything, simply so that I can have some of that tight pussy at the end of each day.

Let me tell you why tight pussy is so great just in case you don't already know:

Because it grabs you and holds on, no matter how much neither one of you can handle the intense feeling. Then you just lose control and turn into a carnal beast as the tight pussy begs you for pleasure, and in return offers to just fry the fuck out of your brain with euphoria. Now, at this point, I have to fully admit that when I go at it, with a sweet piece of ass, I definitely cannot think straight. It's like I've plugged myself into an electrical outlet. I turn into an animal, and I only know how to do one thing, and that's make the tight pussy happy. So while I'm busy stretching that tiny little miracle out, she's usually busy letting me know just how well I'm doing.

I suppose that sometimes... just once in a great while, you run into that tight pussy and it's attached to a really beautiful and wonderful human being. One that's cute, sexy, hot, intelligent, funny, knows how to take a joke, is laid back, etc... basically one that I love. Unfortunately... or maybe fortunately as the case may be, this doesn't happen all that often.

I say that it may actually be a good thing, only because I don't think that I would be able to handle falling in love more often than the extremely rare occurrences that are commonplace now.

Oh, and for the ladies who don't like morning sex, I have only one question for you. Is there something wrong with you?

Now, to be fair... most every girl I have been with would qualify as "tight"... because I mean fuck, when you have to use half a bottle of lube to grease it up just to get the tip in... but, at the same time, I wouldn't call anyone that I had been with "loose" or really even date them for that matter. I mean how disrespectful is it to insult someone who let you put your cock inside of them? Also, how shitty is it to lead someone on when you know it's never going to work out? My feeling is that "loose pussy" just doesn't work out...

Anyhow, pussy is fucking wonderful, and tight pussy should be on the list of fucking protected wildlife.

Well then.. I suppose that I'll just leave you with that...


-link

Labels: cool shit, hot girls, thoughts

So.. it's late at night, and I'm stuck on the fucking phone with a customer from my side business... who's computer is acting up and there isn't really anything that I can do about it.

I am walking this person through the most fucking basic of steps on their pc... I'm seriously about to kill myself.

I'm never agreeing to PC support again in my life... this fucking sucks. I am sick, tired and I want to go to fucking bed.

Oh well, I'm definitely billing for this shit... Definitely.... funny how $100 later I'm feeling great about this experience.


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, technology, thoughts

I thought the linked story was pretty interesting, only because I swear that I thought this up when I was 7.

Basically, the idea is to use the kinetic energy that people normally displace, along with gravity and a magneto, to generate a tiny amount of electricity with each step. Imagine a floor that allowed this wherever you stepped... now imagine that same floor in a busy area, like a bus terminal, a mall, downtown streets, etc.

This, along with some of this would make for some nice, ambient, non-polluting energy production.


-link

Labels: cool shit, current events, technology, thoughts

So I ran across this story on MSN and thought to myself "wow, a vending machine for pot... how awesome would that be?"

Then I actually read the story... and low and behold... the "creator" of this drug pushing appliance actually says:

"You have kids that want to get high and that's not what marijuana is for," Robert Miko said. "It's to medicate."

Ummm, dude... shut the fuck up because you are wrong. You have people that want to get high, period. Some of them happen to have an ailment that allows them to do it legally.

Oh, and as far as your ideas on "medication" being something that requires a physical ailment, I suggest you open a book and read up on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds... you fucking hack.


-link

Labels: current events, thoughts, world news

That's right!!! That will be just 500 here since we made the move to the Blogger system. There were quite a few posts before we moved to Blogger when we used Nucleus for a bit...

Nucleus was great and all... just not simple enough for what we needed at the time, which was a very simple, easy to use way to post our thoughts onto a website.... What's humorous about that statement is that originally this website was supposed to be something completely different. The blog was just to start building an audience whilst we worked tirelessly at building the system that would be known as the "eNemesis Matching Algorithm." ... or something along those lines.

Obviously we haven't moved very close to that goal, or really even in the same direction as that goal. It's been about what... 2.. almost 3 years since Vincent and I began this site. Vincent is now on to bigger and better things in life, but I find myself held back by the mere thought of not finishing this project.... not giving this project the time it deserved, and therefore crippling it for ever.

Well, the time has come to change things up a bit, and I think I'm going to start with this project first. I've got my books, my resources and some free time finally, so I'm going to invest it all back into building this website out the way I've always wanted...

Dynamic pimp shit off the hook, sucka what!!! Engage.


-link

Labels: enemesis, thoughts

I woke up this morning and checked my balance w/ my bank... it said I was overdraft...

Not happy about that. After some investigation, I found out that I was sent "over the edge" by an unexpected ATM fee in combination with my horrible book keeping tactics of late...

On top of that, I wait for my direct deposit to show up... still hasn't, then I find out that my bank had a hard drive fail last night... so to make matters even worse, I'm now just fucked in the anus until they get their shit working again...

Me: "So, how will this outage affect my ability to use ATM's?"

Bank: "Oh... well you can try, but you probably won't be able to pull any money out."

Well that's just fucking super!!! I hate financial institutions...


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

It's funny once you get it...

Well, almost worth laughing about I suppose. The lead on.... the chase... I mean hell, you really do have to make sure you want it before you get it usually...

It's not like any of these low life fucking pieces of shit that have it are convenient to deal with.

Amazing it took this long to figure out...


-link

Labels: the pain of getting well, thoughts

Man... so I used to hang out with this idiot who we will call "H."

I call him that because it's also his drug of choice oddly enough...

So, I found out today from a reliable source that "H" decided to try and pass some counterfeit $20 bills to three local businesses yesterday. He was actually arrested on the third attempt.

Apparently he has been hanging out with a girl who is "producing" these fake pieces of money. She allegedly gave him two $20's and told him to go buy her a pack of smokes and to break the remaining money into smaller bills with the cashier.

The cashier caught the fake money immediately. "H" somehow talked his way out of getting in trouble and he left the store.

He then tries this again at another 7-11 type store... these guys aren't so nice and they call the cops. He manages to talk his way out of this and then decides to try once more at another store. This time the cops are called again and he is put in jail on a felony charge of attempting to spend counterfeit money.

Amazing... only a fucking crack-head heroin addict would keep trying to spend counterfeit money after failing twice AND already having the cops involved one one of those instances.

I guess really, the saddest part about it is that this will probably be the best thing for him. He needs to get clean and jail will probably be his best, last and only chance to do so....

What a sad state of affairs...

Click on the source link below for a list of Google News items related to idiots attempting to spend counterfeit money... apparently the penalties go up quickly based on the amount of "funny money" that is found in your possession... well duh!!!


-link

Labels: current events, growth, stupid fuckers, the pain of getting well, thoughts

My buddy just sent me this link, I think any of you old Sir-Mix-A-Lot fans will dig this one.

Click the source link below...

"my beats are icky..."


-link

Labels: music, thoughts

It's funny to me, because in most circumstances I think anyone that's ever been left on the sharp end of the discrimination stick would agree that discrimination in itself could definitely stand to be eliminated from the long list of those human traits that nobody enjoys.


That said, I also think that everyone loves discrimination when it works in their favor. To that end, I wanted to share this picture:

It's these sort of circumstances that bring us all as human beings (well the men at least) to a personal level of acceptance for discrimination as a necessary evil. I mean sure, nobody likes a bigot, or a flat out racist...

...but don't really think anyone would mind a little discrimination that gives them a look at a nice pair of assets... or.. a "rack" if you will.

Isn't it interesting how we will justify or reason with ourselves until we are willing to accept something normally so ugly and horrible... hell, even socially toxic... when the benefits of putting up with a such an action might pay dividends.

Food for the day... and once again, thanks for reading...

-link

Labels: thoughts

So, they say it's bright and sunny in Everett right now... at a beautiful fucking 48 degrees Fahrenheit.

I thought the beach scene desktop went with it, so I kept it in:

Labels: thoughts

...I'm already about to kill someone today. I seriously cannot stand all of the endless questions I get at work sometimes.

Most of them are bullshit too. Stupid "how do I tell someone 'no' without hurting their feelings" kind of questions. Man, fuck that noise. The word "no" is supposed to hurt feelings, so that mother fuckers quit pressing issues.

NO MOTHER FUCKER!!! You get it now? "NO" is meant to strike fear into the heart of the recipient, that is what "NO" is all about.

Want me to tell you more?

Well guess the fuck what?

NO.


-link

Labels: thoughts

Something has to change... undeniable dilemma... not a burden anyone should bear.

Nothing seems to satisfy... I don't want it, I just need it.... to breathe.... to feel.... to know I'm alive...

Right. I suppose next I might say something like "it's clean and refreshing to be broken down and rebuilt EVERY FUCKING DAY." every day.... every day.... every day........... again

I guess... the best analogy I can come up with, is the reset button on the Nintendo. There you are, at the start, again.... FUCKING AGAIN!!!!!! At some point you want to break the reset button and just hit the power button instead.

The most depressing part I think just might be watching the potential run down the drain.... like clean drinking water in the middle of the desert. God, that part makes me hurt inside, like nothing I've ever felt. The guilt of robbing myself.... not pleasant

Do people get bored of killing themselves slowly and finally stop, or just go for the whole thing? I mean fuck, let's accomplish something today right?

How far do you go with something like this? Fuck if I know...

but I'll tell you what...

I'll keep digging... until I feel something.... I just have too much nothing to say.


-link

Labels: thoughts

...for why I quit drinking on a regular basis....

Check out the source link below, if you've done any drinking in your life, or you plan to drink tonight... might be worth the review.

So, it looks like last year I said that my new year's resolution had to do with me learning some about impulse control. Well, I have to say that I half succeeded and half failed in that area. I think I'm better at dealing with people at work, not wearing my emotions on my sleeve, etc when I'm working.

In other cases however, this past year was pretty shitty when it comes to relationships, and I think a big part of that is due to my continued lack of impulse control across the full gamut of activities that I involve myself in. Long story short, I need to do more work on my impulse control.

I'm also thinking that I could do better with my money management if I keep my eye on the ball when it comes to impulse control. I mean seriously... my biggest impulse is to go spend money I don't have on shit I don't need that will only make me want it more... but only after I don't have it for awhile...

.... yeah... "what a mind fuck!" is right...

As always, thanks for reading this year!


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Labels: new years resolution, thoughts

So this happened back on 12/04, but I'm just now posting it:

...yeah... so yesterday was interesting.


Work was kind of lame, mainly because I had to have "a talk" with my boss. I found out that I'm "not approachable" and that I wear my "emotions on my sleeve" when I'm angry (this basically means that I don't hold back when I'm upset. If you did something to anger me, then you will know about it)


After all of that, I calmed down and decided to just work the remainder of the day and go home and sleep. That's when things got pretty crazy....


On my way home I stopped at the local Safeway supermarket. Upon leaving I noticed this girl's ass because she was bent over in her car moving something around. I was checking that out and walking to my car.


I get to my car and look back at her car, and some guy is standing there next to the passenger door just staring at me. I ask him what's up and if I can help him with something. He plays dumb and says "what?" Then I ask him why he's staring at me, and what the fuck his problem is (notice how the anger level went from like 3 to 10) and he says "oh... you think I'm staring at YOU?"

I just fucking lost it... I rolled up on this poor kid like a bat out of hell and he pretty quickly backed down with a "hhhhey man... I don't really get what this is all about..."

You're damn right mother fucker, and neither do I...

But really, I suppose that I'm pretty happy he said that last little bit... and that really I didn't actually get into a fight with some stupid punk in the local Safeway parking lot. More drama that I just really don't need.

I'm still ready to fight someone though...


-link

Labels: stupid fuckers, thoughts

Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of recent updates, I've just been working on building some websites for new customers and friends who needed them... you know, no big deal.

The new pictures announcement has to do with the pictures that drop in behind the navigation menu (you know, that weird box on the right side of the screen).

If you use Internet Explorer (sorry everyone who hates M$, and more specifically IE), you will see a transparent menu with images for the backdrop.

Recently I have added a few new items, some artistic, of some hot ladies that I "met" via My Space. Actually, a few of them showcase this girl's rear end... my fucking god, I have never seen anything so round in real life.

The others showcase another girl's perfect rack.... yes, so fucking perfect that I can't even believe it. I, quite frankly, am ready to hold onto them and swing around from titty to titty like I'm Tarzan of the mother fucking cleavage jungle!

Rather than refreshing the entire website over and over until you see them, you should just click here and refresh the page that opens up.

As always, thanks for reading...


-link

Labels: hot girls, technology, thoughts

....when she's had too much to drink...

... then I pray to god... "you've got to help me fly away..." Yeah, been there done that.

I'm frustrated with life lately. So frustrated in fact that I really feel like just becoming all reclusive and not talking to anyone. It sucks.

I suppose I'll get over it eventually... hopefully...

Also.... yes I know it's been forever since I've posted on here... get over it.



-link

Labels: thoughts

...well... not really.

I helped a friend of mine move yesterday, and things were pretty easy considering some of the other "moving situations" that I have been in.

For instance:

• The time that my buddy Max and I helped my mom, my sister and my mom's fiancee move into the house that my mom is now selling. Nothing was ready, we actually had to wait for them to pack things so that we could take them out to the truck.
• Moving my stuff out of my 3rd floor apartment - I ended up leaving a bunch of stuff there with my buddy who then moved out and left my stuff there with his friends... I never saw my stuff again. Bummer.
• Moving out of my Aunt and Uncle's house. The entire situation was a fiasco... I moved down there and ended up without a bedroom because my two cousins (his daughters) decided that they were going to move in like two days later. Sleeping on a couch for six months wasn't very fun or good for my back. Moving out was even worse since my stuff was all over the house instead of in just one or two rooms.... never again will I move into a place that I can't put all of my stuff in one room... I suppose that's what storage is for.

Anyhow, so yesterday wasn't that bad at all. My buddy had all of his small stuff taken care of, so he just needed help with his couches and his bed. The issue was pushing the stuff up the stairs to the top floor (just his bed mainly). That mixed up with the cold and the fact that I'm not in the best shape of my life made for a sore body today.

Ugggg, I sure hope I don't feel this way by tomorrow....

-link

Labels: moving, thoughts

on my MySpace profile:

Hah, now how do you like them apples? For the sight challenged, the picture reads "Vagina: It's not a clown car." The best part is that I know for a fact that not everyone "got" that joke.

Kick ass!!!

-link

Labels: jackassery, thoughts

I thought the linked story was pretty interesting. It looks like this company, Nanosolar, has come out with a solar "sheet" that reduces solar production from $3 per watt to 30 cents per watt! This is huge!! You could cover your house with these (once they have something suitable for our weather here in the pacific northwest) and take a nice trim off of your power bill during sunny days.

Anyhow, I think it would be kind of cool to get an electric car and put these all over the outside. Depending on the part of the country, you would probably never need to recharge by A/C outlet unless you did a ton of night driving.


-link

Labels: technology, thoughts

Don't get me wrong, I do think the iPhone is... neat. I don't think the iPhone is for me though... not yet at least. I want to see what they do next.

I also want some of the negative hype around iPhone users to die down... it seems like anyone who has a self-esteem issue and also purchases an iPhone instantly thinks their penis is fucking Mandingo and their shit doesn't stink. What they don't get is that the iPhone is not some magical filter that all of the sudden makes things like "hey, do you guys want to play Dungeons and Dragons tonight?" sound cool.

That's awesome that you are watching a movie on your iPhone... are those ants?

Q: Do you know why people watch movies on televisions and large screens?
A: So they can see the fucking picture.

Ok here's another one...

Q: Do you know why people work on PCs, laptops, desktops, anything but a pda?
A: So they can get more than one thing done at a time... actually fuck that, so they can get ANYTHING done.

Your iPhone is not Jesus, nor is it the second coming. It's a phone. It does not replace the laptop, it also doesn't replace anything substantial. Not even your iPod... know why? Because most of you still use both of them. I think most of you love the idea, but cannot manage the practicality of actually using one device for everything. Nor do I think any one tool can serve every project extremely well. Most "creations" of man can do one or two things really well, and a bunch of other stuff really shitty.

Anyhow, I'm just on a rant now... so read the source link below for a good laugh about another iDick...errrr... iPhone user.

Oh, and to my friends, this isn't directed at you.


-link

Labels: iPwn, thoughts

I don't want to say that I'm an expert on human behavior, because I'm not. I'm probably not the best person to tell you why someone did what they did, given circumstances and actions... I can give you an opinion, but what the fuck is that other than some idea that I pulled out of my ass?

I can tell you a little tiny bit about observation however, and after "observing" my co-workers from a leadership role, and working hard to ensure that nobody rocks the boat vs. just deciding what they want, when they want it and pushing everyone into line until it happens, I can tell you that my perception of people's actions has definitely changed. I would almost compare it to a conveyor belt, where as the action approaches, I decide whether or not it's worth respect, and those that aren't get knocked the fuck into the garbage can.

Now that my role is really centered around this dynamic, I've found that I start to perform this same role in other areas of my life, like the friendship area.

Recently, a situation came to fruition that the mere thought of caused me anxiety and an upset stomach. Say what you want about how "weak" I must be, or what a "bitch" I am for having these feelings, but I guess that's really just more of one person trying to tell another person how they can or can not feel about a certain situation. I think when put it in that light, everyone will call the fox a fox and the sheep a sheep. No foxes in sheep's clothing when you break it down by the numbers is there? Just hateful people who want to tell everyone else what to do before they take a moment and tell themselves what to do... hey, I'm just as guilty. But it sure takes one to know one right?

So back to this situation... I saw the situation, I thought about it long enough to make myself all anxious and therefore decided that I just shouldn't participate in the event/situation if it made me feel this shitty. I mean why force myself right? Well there are a couple of good reasons, namely good friends... but with good friends comes good understanding, and I don't know one "mature" person in my life who likes to force other people to encounter shitty situations for their own benefit... whatever that benefit may be.

Now, I do know people in general who pull janky, shit ass, bullshit... they, however, are the furthest thing from the definition of "mature."

I don't have to go into any more detail here... the long and short of this is that some people like to rock the fuck out of the boat if they can't have their cake and eat it too... some people are cool with just not participating in order to avoid a potential social catastrophe, and others are just stuck in the middle... doing the right thing for a good friend who's just trying to find their way in this episode we call life... and trying to make good decisions about what they involve themselves in as much as possible.

I guess the funny thing here is that had the suggestion originated from say... my therapist... nobody would object... because THEN it would have been for the greater good.... like for some reason this can't be.

To any person that wants to rock the boat... make sure you have your life jacket on. Because when you fall out... who's going to be there to pull you back in? Nobody, you get to float adrift until someone else, another boat decides to pull you in. Where's your decision making power now?

Also, to get specific... and you know who you are, so please don't take this the wrong way... but fuck, it's no coincidence that you keep having blow-outs with people. For your own sake you might think about calming the fuck down and not taking things so personal. Nobody did this to hurt you. So do yourself a favor and don't make this into a battle.

That's it for now... thanks for reading.


-link

Labels: thoughts

...when you're talking about a car payment? Drugs? Alcohol? Speeding? Fighting? Socializing? Talking when you should be working? Running? Working out? Eating? Dieting? Being mean? Talking shit? Talking shit behind some body's back? Dating? Fucking? Making love? Having sex? Working? Applying for jobs? Watching TV? Listening to the radio? Playing music loud? Procrastinating? Writing? Reading? Having children? Adopting children? Writing a blog for years but never really getting to the point? Buying candles but never using them? Drinking and Driving? Living paycheck to paycheck? Showing up late to work?

Obviously I could go on forever, but I won't. Something tells me that would be... "too much." Thanks for reading.


-link

Labels: thoughts

Dammit!! I don't normally lose things like my ATM/Credit Cards... (knock on wood) but I sure seemed to make it a point to do so this past weekend. The most frustrating part is that it didn't happen on Friday night when I went out with a bunch of friends... no... it happened the next day when I was at home taking it easy. I must have taken it out of my wallet when I went to the store yesterday evening..

Man, how fucking shitty. It really sucks to be locked off from your money for an indefinite amount of time. The part that really blows is that I bank with a very small credit union... I may have mentioned that before somewhere in one of my posts... but for those who don't know:

This credit union has like four branches, and the closest one is in Everett where I live. I work in Redmond, so there is no way I can just hop over to the bank on a break or my lunch hour. Very frustrating. The credit union keeps bankers hours of course, so by the time they open I am usually on my way to work.

Normally, the worst issue I run into is when my vendor company forgets to approve my weekly hours and I miss the direct deposit cutoff. In that situation I am usually forced to accept a live check and then cash it at my vendor company's bank. Then I usually just have cash only that week. Not so horrible, but it always eats up an entire lunch.

This situation is much worse because my money is already all in the bank, and now I have no easy way to get to it. Man... sometimes my loyal nature just fucks me over hardcore. I say that because I have been with this bank since I was about seven years old (my mom joined through her work and then sponsored me for a savings account with them). I have made that my primary reason for staying, well that and the fact that all of the credit unions in Washington state work together in the sense that they share ATMs and don't charge each other fees for using each other's ATMs.

That said... I think I am going to switch over to BECU pretty darn soon. You just can't beat the fact that they are everywhere, they have great interest rates and if I need to talk to someone I can usually just go to a grocery store and there will be a mini branch inside.

Now that my friends... that, is service.


-link

Labels: bitch killa, business is business, thoughts

Labels: music, thoughts

...I just caught myself loving my job. I'm not sure what in the fuck that is all about... but it's definitely had some side effects:

• I have no desire whatsoever to do anything other than go home and lie down in anticipation of food and sleeping
• I don't feel the need to blow my money on stupid shit that I really don't need
• I don't long to be in a different state of mind
• I am excited to go to sleep, because I can come back to work when I wake up
• I don't want to go get tossed because I'm afraid it will affect my performance at work tomorrow... I've NEVER been afraid of that... I mean NEVER. I'm the guy who comes into work and everyone plays a guessing game of what I'm on that day...
• I'm absolutely indifferent on what anyone else thinks about this... in fact, I almost didn't say anything about it because I don't want to jinx it... but you know me, I can't keep my pie hole shut to save my life...

I think that's it for now...

-link

Labels: changes, thoughts

That's right, you know who you are. I think I just got a hard on thinking about you doing the work and me reaping the rewards...

I was supposed to fix that computer this weekend, and your dumb ass went over there and did it for me. HAH!!!

Hah, I hope you got as good of a deal as I did... you know a few for free.... or did you just settle for a shitty discount? You fucking loser. Nothing makes me happier then finding this information out (because she calls me right away to report everything you do), and then knowing that I got the deal for work you did. Know what I did right after that? Came up on some flow, with your hard work to thank.

Remember sucka, you will always be within my grasp... just at the end of my reach, right where I want you. Everything you do gets reported to me, by the people you buy from, the people you do with and the people you attempt to get shady on.

If you think you've ever seen me organize something before... wait until you see how organized I am with your life's failures... I know about them all, and so will the world you chump.

All of the pictures, the audio clips and even some video of you at the cul de sac.... my favorite is actually the pic of you with the tool in your arm lying against the driver's side window of your car. Dude could of had you right there... in fact he begged me to let him... but I convinced him that the hunt is a bit more fun.

Have a good time on the east side of the mountains too fool, hopefully you won't screw up this chance like you did the last one at the manor.


-link

Labels: bitch killa, business is business, thoughts

...are just not so upsetting anymore.

I just found out who my friends really are today. I went over to a very good friend's house this evening for dinner (actually two good friend's live there, but they are getting married... so it's kind of like they are merging into one... or something.. ).

Dinner was great, as always, and so was the company. We were joined by another pair of good friends, who coincidentally are also getting married... so it's like I'm going from 4 friends in this group to 2. Crazy...

Anyhow, that's not what this little rant is about... well maybe in a way...

I spent a few hours over there, on the VPN working and chatting as I attempted to control the huge influx of requests coming in.

Then I decided to head home, and it was right about this time that I found out who my friends weren't. I called one of them to see if I could stop by and return something which I had borrowed...

...this friend just got back together with his ex. I can pretty much cross him off the list at this point, because if his previous time with this lady is any indication of what future endeavors will be like, I basically won't see him, and when I do I'll have to listen to her run her mouth about some unintersting bullshit.

One down...

I call friend two. I have been... shall we say... making things happen for this guy all week. He greets me on the phone with a "sorry, I can't do it..." which honestly sounded way more like a "I don't feel like it..." than anything else. Fuck that noise.

Two down...

Then I call another person whom I've been helping out all week. As I spoke with this person and they slowly indicated that they also didn't feel like complying with my request... I slowly indicated that they just fucked themselves.

Three down...

...and I'm done. Peace...


-link

Labels: thoughts

...about the linked story.

Now get this... I'm what you would probably call a "mild" football fan in the United States. I enjoy watching the game, but I could care less about who is playing, the stats, or any of that bullshit.

I like watching one pimp mother fucker run down the field with a ball in hand while other pimp mother fuckers try to beat the ever loving shit out of him. I mean really, how can you beat that?

So now to the story, connected via the "source" link below...

From the story:

"I said something to (Belichick) after the game," Godfrey said to NBCSports.com. "I told him, 'You need to show some respect for the game.' You just don't do that. I don't care how bad it is. You're up 35 points and you're still throwing deep? That's no respect...."

Well, do you agree? Should the winning team "play nice" just because the losing team is a bunch of losers? Or is that really half the fun of the game? Being able to be that great, just so great that you can make it obvious that nobody can touch you. Or how about just using that losing team for practice... you know, for when you go up against a team more equally weighted sometime later in the season?

Not being a "die hard" football fan, I don't really feel like my opinion matters all that much on this subject, but I do feel like some of our readers are "die hard" enough to say something about this and have it stick.

So with that I say... have at it tricks!!


-link

Labels: bitch killa, business is business, current events, thoughts

....when you have a friend, who is a really good friend... but you can't seem to have "friendly" conversations with them like you used to.

I have to admit I've been under a ton of pressure lately, so it could just be my perception that is a little skewed...

But I can't help but notice that everyone else I know is right there when I need them, with a friendly conversation. This person however, is the first one to try and correct me when I'm just joking around with them, or try to tell me how to run my show... when it's more than obvious that they aren't running their show the way they should be in the first place.

It's hard to take advice from a blatant hypocrite... but I suppose it's nothing new, everyone is a bit of a hypocrite.

Long story short, this shit is frustrating, and it's also wearing on my patience... I just hope something changes before it gets to a point where it can no longer be repaired....

Hope... sometimes it's all you have....


-link

Labels: business is business, thoughts

So I was doing some late night work yesterday... or early this morning rather... and my fucking keyboard went out!!

I have an extra, and the keyboard built into the laptop... so I'm not totally up shit creek. I just bought the keyboard in question under a year ago, and already it seems as though keys have stopped working for no reason at all.

This keyboard I am talking about is the "Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 v1.0" and I really liked it until yesterday. If you click on the link, it will open in a new window so you can see which model to avoid.

Let me also say that normally, I really love Microsoft keyboards. In fact I don't think I have purchased anything but a Microsoft Natural ergonomic keyboard since I was 17. So for the last 10 years, I have been a loyal and valuable customer... and this is how I am rewarded.

Fucking A. Oh well, I guess life goes on...


-link

Labels: bitch killa, business is business, technology, thoughts

I guess it really is possible. You can lose your life to many things in this world... an evil woman, a nasty job, a nasty habit, a nasty decision.

They say a fool and his money soon go separate ways and I can't tell you how much I agree with that statement right now.

Class tomorrow.... yay.


-link

Labels: thoughts

...on life I mean.

I'm working my ass off, and I can't even believe how time consuming this job and expanding a website can be. It's funny though because I still don't feel like I have any money... it just seems to keep flying out faster than I can earn it.

That's frustrating, but uplifting at the same time because I know that I'm making some serious headway on my debt.

What's really frustrating is that it seems like everything is due all at once... but I suppose that's what happens when you allow yourself to get behind in the first place. If I had it all to do over again, I would definitely change the money situation up.

It is nice though... knowing that $200 may be all you have to your name, but you can definitely make it through the week on $200 when you aren't blowing it on something lame.


-link

Labels: thoughts, work

Work has been busy, no surprise there...

Work has also been completely new since I just started a new job.... no surprise there either...

Then on top of that...

Last week ended on a sour note because I ran into someone that I didn't really want to see...

Fuck that noise. It's not like this person ruined my night, or my weekend, or this week.... I guess the bottom line is that I just didn't want to see them.

Then, on top of that... just to be nice I tell the person to call me sometime... this person responded with a nice "I don't even have your number anymore..."

Totally awesome, at least I got what I wanted I suppose....


-link

Labels: thoughts

So I just got back into playing an old classic: Starcraft and Starcraft: Brood War.

I was checking out some Internet sites on the old pair when I found it's new sibling which is supposedly due around this time next year... Starcraft 2.

Check out the source link below which should take you to the website for the game and will also show you some screen shots as well. The graphics are insane and so are the units for the Protoss race!!! I know, I know... totally fucking sweet!!!

Check it out and post a comment to let us know what you think!


-link

Labels: cool shit, technology, thoughts

....ugghhghg....

Every week on Thursday I work from 7am to 4pm. This is because of my nice little weekly class that I have to attend... (all I can say about that is thank god it's only once a week now.. much better than the alternative of 3 to 5 times per week....)

Anyhow, so I'm running on like 4.5 - 5 hours of sleep.... and I'm ready to punch someone in the neck...


-link

Labels: thoughts

Sometimes, when I'm really kickin' ass and takin' names, I like to listen to this song that Rage Against the Machine did a cover of. It's called "Microphone Fiend" and you can find it on the "Renegades" album.

The source link below has the lyrics if you care to check them out. This would be my choice if we had to pick some lyrics and then throw them in a pit and watch them fight:



Then there's this other song they covered, it's called "Pistol Grip Pump" and these lyrics are so damn dangerous and will automatically kick so much ass when spoken that I only unleash them on sucka's when I catch rotten taco face snaggle tooth slippin (warning, if you have a weak pussy with sand in it, you might be offended by this):

Labels: bitch killa, cool shit, thoughts